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“Faking It” Episode 101 Recap: Let’s Be Lesbians

Welcome to the first recap of the first season of Faking It, a brand new show from the musical network that brought you I Want a Famous Face and Carmen and Dave: An MTV Love Story.
We open in bed with a lesbian, just like I do every morning.
Meet Amy and Karma. The primary bond between Amy and Karma is a shared love of delivering exposition over the telephone. In the span of a two-minute phone call we learn:
1. Karma’s mom is a hippie who makes tea and reads astrological charts, and Karma wishes she had a normal Mom.
2. Amy’s mom is doing something fancy with a steam iron in the hallway, and Amy wishes she had a normal Mom.
3. Amy doesn’t like rodents as pets.

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Orphan Black Episode 201 Recap: Nature Under Constraint and Vexed

Hey Clones!
Welcome to your Orphan Black recaps! Have you been watching since the beginning? Did you mainline season one all over again? Or did you, like Forever Intern Grace, just dive the fuck into season two? Were you confused? She sure was.
To quickly recap the series for all you noobs, Orphan Black is about grifter and single mother Sarah Manning whose life gets fucked sideways when she sees her doppelganger commit suicide. When Sarah takes over her life/work/boytoy, she discovers that she is one of many human clones in existence, and she joins forces with her clone bros to find out what the fuck happened to them.
Why are we recapping this show? Well, aside from being excellent, one of the clones, Cosima (aka dreadlocks adorkable clone) is gayer than a handbag full of rainbows. And she has a hot French girlfriend and it’s COMPLICATED, like most hot French girls are. And all the clones are played masterfully by Tatiana Maslany, who is perfection/your new girl crush.

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Glee Episode 516: “Tested” Will Test Your Endurance For An Episode Without Lesbians

Welcome to the sixteenth episode of the fifth season of Glee, a series of commercials for individually wrapped slices of American cheese. This week, an itchy assortment of iron-clad Daughters of the American Revolution will be signing and dancing their way through a majority of your personal issues, including Sephora, face lotion, dim sum, CVS Extra Bucks, lip gloss and underwater lovemaking.
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Glee Episode 515 Recap: Bash Me In The Belly

Welcome to the 15th episode of the fifth season of Glee, a high-stakes Nickelodeon game show that combines trivia questions with occasionally messy “physical challenges” such as catching 3-4 pies in a pair of oversized clown pants. This week’s episode tentatively indulged itself in terrifying topics including but not limited to really hard crossword puzzles, mango chutney, long walks on the beach, Jessica Rabbit, pot brownies, shoulder implants, VD, scrunchies and scented candles.

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Glee Episode 514 Recap: New New York, New Levels Of Homoeroticism

Welcome to the fourteenth episode of the fifth season of Glee, a gentle and tender mini-series about a Jewish beautician from Queens who becomes a nanny for the three children of a British Broadway director who looks a lot like Pierce Brosnon but isn’t. This heart-jerking and tear-warming tale is an allegory for the ages, weaving together instrumental plot elements including but not limited to Rainbow Brite, second cousins, severe psoriasis, apple juice, Sally Struthers, Athlete’s foot, coconut cream pie, churros, goat-milkers, cocoa butter, LSD and free makeovers.

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Glee Episode 513 Recap: New Directions For Lesbos!

Welcome to the thirteenth episode of the fifth glorious season of Glee, a charming country-style chowder of a tale about a quantum physicist from the near future who, due to a time travel experiment gone wrong, is doomed to forever hop through time, taking the place of humans to “put right what once went wrong” with the help of his womanizing best friend, who is actually a hologram. This crushing…

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Pretty Little Liars Episode 424 Recap: A is for Anal

Oh why hello there. I’m so glad you’re here for the long and magical journey we have ahead of us for this season finale episode. I want you to know that Lizz titled this post for us. I miss her, too, ya’ll! Did you read her open thread for this episode? We were all so hoping for something Pailey to happen! Ugh! But onwards, ever onwards. Let’s get us some answers.
omg this is our first meeting…

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“The Fosters” Episode 120 Recap: Nothing Good Ever Happens in Metropolis

The episode begins with the usual yada yada yada about what happened last week and the only thing that stood out to me was Vico’s jacket. Is the Anchor Beach mascot a whale or a shark? It looks like a whale but that seems like a dumb mascot — not threatening at all — “Watch out! I’m going to krill you!” So, it must be a shark which led me to watch West Side Storyvideos on YouTube. I think we…

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Pretty Little Liars Episode 423 Recap: All The Broken Hearts

It’s a beautiful day in Rosewood, where people go to seek revenge against teenagers on drugs and also sometimes there’s a lot of minors in big, white, virginal wedding dresses. Yay heteronormativity!
Fuck you guys, Imma look fabulous reppin’ this wedding dress in a state that wouldn’t even legally recognize my marriage.
We open and Spencer is walking through the woods wearing a wedding dress. Is…

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Glee Episode 511: The City of Angels and Wine Demons

Hello and welcome to the eleventh episode of the fifth season of Glee, a series created by a classroom of stoned high school sophomores about the fictional lives of a group of teenagers and their families residing in the affluent seaside community of Newport Beach in Orange County, California. It includes hot topics and in-depth discussions about issues like tomato juice, toddlers w/o tiaras,…

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Once Upon A Time Recap Episode 312: Well, I’ll Be A Monkey’s Uncle!

Previously on the show that promised us a bisexual character and then gave her virtually no screen time, Regina wiped Emma and Henry’s memories of Storybrooke, thus saving them from a reversal curse put in place by Pan. They live happily ever after in a suspiciously expensive apartment in New York City, where Hook has somehow tracked them down and hoped that his true love’s kiss will give Emma…

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“The Fosters” Episode 119 Recap: Buy One Dad Storyline, Get Two Free

This episode opens with Callie standing in the doorway of her dad’s apartment. Her dad is wearing a dirty mechanic’s shirt with the name “Donald” on it which is great because I don’t keep track of characters’ names very well. He invites her in but she just wants to know what he’s going to say to Jude. He says he wanted to get his life together and she says, “Before you could talk to us?” and he…

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First Ever Lesbians Who Tech Summit Proves That Nerdy Ladies Get Shit Done

Sexism in the tech industry exists, is a time-suck, is demoralizing, makes no sense and must be dismantled. One of the main messages I received after writing the sexism in tech article was for something more solution-based. How can we respond? And after attending the first Lesbians Who Tech Summit at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco, I think this is one of the ways that we can fix this — a way…

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Pretty Little Liars Recap Episode 422: Let’s Just Randomly Make Up Who “A” Is

Welcome to the latest installment of the world’s favorite show about teenage girls finding love and also murderers in the dark, dark world of small town, upper-class Pennsylvania. Also, we find out who A might be, like we’ve found out ten times before. Only this time, the answer makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. In the eternal words of Forever Intern Grace, “if after all that Ezra turns out to be right…

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Glee Episode 510 Recap: Trio Of Horror Tower Of Terror

Welcome to the tenth episode of the fifth season of Glee, a charming homespun comedy about a pair of genetically enhanced laboratory mice who reside in a cage in the Acme Labs research facility, where they perform elaborate tap-dancing numbers to the sound of iced tea being stirred, compare and contrast argyle sock collections, knead challah, write magnetic poetry, eat raw hair serum with fig…

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