Yesterday I went on a date with my fiancée. We were getting her engagement ring resized (too big the first time around) and there’s a French place just across the street from the jeweler. They serve, hands down, the best crêpes I’ve had since I lived in Paris. So yesterday for lunch I had: one La Fin du Monde beer (made in Quebec, my favorite beer right now); one buckwheat crêpe with scrambled…
Unashamed To Be Fat: Wear the Shorts, It’s F*cking Hot Outside
On July 9, The Daily Mail posted an article online by non-doctor, but “self confessed fattist” Linda Kelsey titled, “Why Are Today’s Young Women So Unashamed To Be Fat?” The obvious attempt at a shocking subtitle read, “Horrified by the rolls of flesh she’s witnessed on show this summer, Linda Kelsey takes no prisoners!” I’m not even going to get into it with that corny ‘takes no prisoners’ line.…
Beaches Over Bars: I Skipped NYC Pride and Found Something Else To Be Proud Of
Queers on the beach
June in New York City signifies the beginning of many things: baking concrete, sweaty brows, strenuous subway walks, New Yorkers that somehow make the heat look effortless in their shorts and sundresses (I don’t understand you, but I APPRECIATE you), birthday season for all the tender Geminis and Cancers in your life (hey, what’s up) and, coinciding with the national…
Flirting with Danger: Dating Fails and ASD
I’ve always had trouble understanding social relationships. Cracking open the cover to the Lisa Frank unicorn journal from my childhood, I found evidence in the words of my eight-year-old self:
“This is the true story of … the day me and Philip the bad Parted (secretly). I wanted to marry him when I grew up — Until now. …I stepped Philip’s foot — by mistake. He Yelled an ear-deafing Yell and said…
Me, Piper Chapman, the Psych Ward, and the Incarcerated 2.2 Million
Having been institutionalized is not something I ever forget, exactly, but I tend to keep those memories on lockdown. It was Netflix that finally blasted them back out into the open – specifically, Orange is the New Black. Cue the theme song, cue the waterworks – I cried all the way through every episode of Season Two, tears pooling uncomfortably in my headphones.
It was the bathrooms, of all…
Breaking the Habit: Exes, Past and Future
I stumbled upon the idea that our exes all leave lessons, reflections on experiences we’ll have in the future. Those “us” moments, the laughs, the arguments, the cute little spots, the things that make our bodies tick, the break ups: they all find themselves mirrored in our future. Staring back at us, and we think, “Funny, how…” I had such a moment about 2 years ago.
See, at some point I was a…
One Year Ago, A Gunman Opened Fire On Our Car
Note: This piece was originally written for and read to a live audience at the A-camp 5.0 staff reading. Edits were made to remove the names of the other shooting victims from print.
Staff reading, May 2014. Photo by Claire Suer.
The pavement was wet that night. The air was warm and the desert seemed to stretch infinitely onwards in every direction. Through the passenger side window, I watched…
Fat-Booty Butch Buys A Suit On A Budget
Taxes and GLAADThank You, Uncle Sam for the pennies you call a tax-refund. Living right on and sometimes even below the poverty line made it so easy for me to view my tax refund as a way to live big for awhile. I used to spend that change on well-deserved bullshit: bottle-poppin’, new kicks, cab rides from the city to my crib in the Bronx, fancy dinners, illicit activities and buying people’s…
Before You Know It Something’s Over
My father died when I was 14. My father died when I was 14. My father died when I was 14. Heart attack. While he was running. Training for a marathon. Yes, it was unexpected. Yes, just out of the blue. Yeah, just about the worst thing that could have ever happened, just really the absolute worst, nothing worse will ever happen to me! (I will laugh at this part, a little. To make sure you know…
Take the Lead: A Beginner’s Adventure at Queer Tango Festival
I came across the OKCupid profile of a handsome boi named Eli from Seattle. Even though they are a six-hour plane ride from me, I five-starred their profile anyway. Eli’s pictures were full of character, they danced Queer Tango and built community around it. When they liked me back (!), I messaged, “You make me want to try Queer Tango.”
Thanks to the magnanimity of two dancers, Thierry and…
Beyond Definition: On Queer Black Love and My Kaleidoscope Identity
I was reading an article that suggested that partnerships are more likely to last when partners have “unrealistic” views of each other. Possibly like mothers who believe that their children are the most beautiful in the world. That idealistic focus, the impassioned affection is what keeps that parent protecting their child at all costs with a fervor that is difficult to put into words. And this…
Unalterable: Laying Down My Sword in the Battle Against Myself
I was climbing the stairs of my elementary school shortly after the summer holidays, when I felt a hard smack against my sunburned back. I recall the sting and the boy who ran past me saying “gimp.” I was very confused. I had never heard this word before and did not know what it implied. I knew that he had said it with disgust and the slap had meant to hurt. I had been taking the stairs one at a…
Confessions of a Beauty Queer: The Best Goodbye of My Life
Everyone keeps asking me, “What was it like navigating the pageant world as a queer woman?” I’m honestly not sure what answer anyone is looking for, but the answer I have is simple: It wasn’t like anything. Why? Because I was strung out on denial. Denial is a real thing — it wasn’t just my a way to cope, it was my lifestyle. Living in denial changed my views, opinions, and perspectives on life…
On Continuing to Live In the Same World that Made Elliot Rodger (and Many Like Him)
feature image credit to the Los Angeles Times
Much of the staff of this website spent this past week on a mountain in a tiny and lovingly created queer community — not a perfect community, but still the sort of place where more often than not, consent is confirmed before giving a hug. In the middle of all this, we heard through our patches of access to the outer world that somebody named Elliot…
Sober in the City: Surviving Pride Without Liquor
Feature Image via The New York Times
In a previous post, I talked a bit about my experience with redefining my queerness in sobriety. Changing my relationship with Pride was one of the first and hardest things I had to do as a sober queer. I currently have five years of sobriety and I plan on celebrating Pride in New York City dancing, singing, marching, and rejoicing all things LGBTQ… and doing…
