When we’re talking about queer bodies, immigrant bodies, black and brown bodies, disabled bodies, those disrupt white supremacy and heteropatriarchy — and that’s the context in which we see a lot of criminalization of these communities. When I think of queer survival economies, I think of bodies that disrupt the social order by surviving, existing and thriving.
As we trudged to the soccer fields, I looked at all of the other families arriving, most of whom had no idea what just happened to us. For the first time, we were equal to them, at least under the law. I had imagined this moment for years and always expected to feel elation or maybe just sweet, sweet relief.
Intead I felt rage.
Just a week earlier, we had made this same trek from the parking lot to the fields, camping chairs slung over our shoulders, water bottles in hand. We had been the same people, the same couple, the same family. But we did not have the same protections. Now because some judge somewhere said so, with the crack of a gavel, our status had changed.
Fuck that.
It may be self-evident that recently out CEO of Apple Tim Cook and other white professional men like him do not have much in common with the black gay men of Chicago. Yet the mindset and terminology of “community” builds a singular minority to the detriment of those less privileged among the LGBT identities. When marriage equality is the law of the land and many more affluent and educated gay individuals are fulfilled, the ‘community’ will appear strong as individuals continue to suffer. We will be left to ask, 'Who still cares?’
Since the show, my dad has done a complete 180. He’s been so supportive. He has watched every episode and shared his feelings along the way. I really do thank him for being the motivation to go on the show. That was what really pushed me to say yes. I wanted to do it for myself. It wasn’t about winning or competing; it was about pushing myself and trying to show my family that I could do it.
This is not just a political issue. It is a biblical issue. And as a biblical issue — unless I get a new version of the scriptures, it’s really not my place to say, OK, I’m just going to evolve. It’s like asking someone who’s Jewish to start serving bacon-wrapped shrimp in their deli. We don’t want to do that — I mean, we’re not going to do that. Or like asking a Muslim to serve up something that is offensive to him, or to have dogs in his backyard.
It was really important to me that the show didn’t objectify me. I said to Ione, ‘I am not your court jester.’ And I mean it.
It was 1995, you see, and my image of the modern lesbian was pretty stereotypical — dumpy, unstylish, short-haired. It’s a “type” I embrace these days (literally and metaphorically). But back then, as an awkward gawky teenager struggling to fit in, that image was downright petrifying and bore no resemblance to my own aspirational existence. The only famous lesbians I knew of were The Indigo Girls. So I was pretty vulnerable, you could say, to suggestion.
Jessie’s death is tragic, especially since she was so young and her friends had to witness her being killed. Was it really necessary to shoot and kill a teenage girl? The problem is the ones to evaluate that question work under a system that is unjust to people of color. Jessie didn’t deserve to die, even if she indeed used a stolen car as a weapon. Her life was taken because it was deemed unimportant and disposable because an officer decided his sense of safety was worth more than her life.
If there is one thing I’ve learned in my research, it is that in the face of systemic inequities, homophobia, sex negativity, harassment, the threat of job loss, death — we find places to be ourselves. We’ll make spaces our own under the worst of circumstances, even if just for a few hours. People risk it because that’s how important it is to us to find one another, to feel human, to feel desire and love and express it openly without shame… I am mindful of the resilience of our communities, the unwillingness to accept the message of the city, that there’s nowhere we belong. History tells us that’s not true. We’ll find each other, no matter what.
Buying sperm and getting pregnant started to seem like a better path for me as a queer black woman. I didn’t need anyone’s approval to get pregnant. As long as I had the money for the sperm the sperm bank would sell it to me.
If we don’t abundantly love each other, we can’t have an abundant relationship with God. I must embrace an interpretation of my faith that requires unconditional love for queer people because any less would be to deny my own humanity and that of my community.
