I know you can bring your mother along further along the metaphorical road to trans allyship. It will take time. It will take a lot of patience. It will be worth it.
This is a book you’ll probably want to read in your room with the door closed.
If there was advice that I wish I’d received two years ago when my relationship with my long-term live-in partner began dissolving and I eventually became homeless, cat-less, best friend-less, broke, and the mortified new owner of a single bed crammed into my 76-year-old great aunt’s home study, it would be to give myself plenty of time and space to mourn before charging ahead into the future. Even though in my case, losing it all was voluntary; it was The Right Thing To Do and The Best For All Involved. You can still grieve something that you don’t want back.
Here’s the thing, though: if you’re anything like me, games at a party can be hit or miss. I am, by nature, a teeth-gnashing, dirty-playing, trash-talking competitive monster, which is no fun for anyone. Now, my friends put up with it because they are charitable angels, and because we usually play games like Cards Against Humanity, which technically is competitive but usually ends with net positive laughter. That’s the point! Games are fun! They’re social! They help you feel closer to people and less like a misanthropic hermit with the heart of a robot!
How do you find an officiant? What do officiants do? How will my stuff, which is mostly a few boxes of books and sex toys, get to LA? Will I end up hiring a lawyer at some point? Do we need to decorate? When will Shannon give her family the details? What will we do about music? What if [insert interview anxiety here]?
On the ground immigrant rights organizers and the transgender community are building together and connecting the threads of our struggle with many unifying points. We have many more battles to win.