I know you don’t wanna be that person who won’t fulfill a request for their very generous and open lover — but I bet your girlfriend doesn’t wanna be that person whose sexual requests send their girlfriend into a horrifying traumatic spiral, either.
Now that you’ve cleaned and culled your sex toys, it’s time to take a few hours by yourself or with an activity partner and use every. Single. One. You know that glass dildo you love but always forget about, or the under-the-bed restraints that are gathering dust, or your backup vibrator? Use them. Remember that shirt at the bottom of your drawer you found one day and wear all the time now? That’s a great shirt. You probably have a sex toy like that.
Did some naked housework today like that episode of Friends when Rachel was trying to get comfortable with her own body. “Check me out. I’m in my kitchen … naked. I’m picking up an orange; I’m naked! Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully!” Luckily, unlike Friends, Ross didn’t come over and ruin it.
There’s more than one kind of relationship. We’ve uncovered (some of) them all in our ultimate guide to lesbian dating.
Spend at least three hours this week moving around whatever space you can — your own house, or your room with the door closed — totally and completely naked. Lock the door and close the windows and put electrical tape over your webcam if you need to but get into your space and take your clothes off. Complete small routine tasks. Check your email. Check you out in that mirror over there, damn you look good.
Tonight I cleaned my room while listening to a Why Are People Into That. Now my room is sooooo clean and I am thinking about the thing that Tina Horn was talking about with her guest that was sooo hot. Listening to YAPIT got me really hot and now I have renewed my CrashPad subscription.
This day is a total blank space in my memory but I am 99% sure nothing sexy happened.
There’s less at stake emotionally with a casual partner. This is the very target at which critics aim their arrows—how can women enjoy sex without an emotional connection?!—but this lack of investment can be freeing. It’s the same relative anonymity that causes some people to blurt out their deepest secrets to their hairdresser or a taxi driver. When we’re with someone who isn’t a fixture of our daily life, our egos relax enough to let a little authenticity come through. Rather than worrying about impressing the other person, you can be more assertive.
The benefits of casual sex, via this week’s NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday.
Dirty talk (and, to an intermittent extent, phone sex) has remained somewhat of a staple in my sexual wheelhouse for the past 16 years. It’s a fun way to share fantasies without needing to have the, “So, can we sit down and tell each other over coffee what we want but are scared to ask for in bed?” talk, and can kick things up a notch if the sex is too vanilla. And, if I’m going to be honest here, it’s kind of a power trip to know that the words coming out of your mouth are helping to get someone off.
This week’s NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday includes a guide to getting better at talking dirty, among other things.
Yeah, sometimes sex really is weird or gross or embarrassing or everything at once — and that is part of why it is awesome.
Dating can be a total bloodsport. Lolita Bandita walks you through what to do when sexytimes go red.
Don’t know what to get the one you adore this season? Check out our gift guide chock full of beautiful and totally awesome sex toys!
NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Wearing A Harness Under Her Dress
NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Wearing A Harness Under Her Dress
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image of Lorenda Ituah.
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller discusses what to do when your partner comes out as trans, having a horrible crush on your close intimate friend, “advanced dating,” bi-invisibility and why you don’t need to be defensive of butch/femme dynamics:
“It’s totally okay to only like girls with short hair. As a…
