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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

What if I never find the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with? Should I just give up now?

of course not! BE PATIENT, GRASSHOPPER!!!

i want to share this quote with you, it’s from a story in the short story collection ‘birds in america’ by lorrie moore, who is tied with mary gaitskill and stephen dunn for “riese’s favorite writer of all time.”

“What makes humans human is precisely that they do not know the future. That is why they do the fateful and amusing things they do: who can say how anything will turn out? Therein lies the only hope for redemption, discovery, and-let’s be frank—fun, fun, fun! There might be things people will get away with. And not just motel towels.There might be great illicit loves, enduring joy, faith-shaking accidents with farm machinery. But you have to not know in order to see what stories your life’s efforts bring you. The mystery is all.”

-Lorrie Moore, Birds of America: Stories

Ask Riese a brand new thing

formspring.me

How do you know when you’re ready to have kids? I mean, no one is ever READY. But, you know, ideally…

i honestly have no idea how anyone knows when they’re ready to have kids. probably it’s like getting a letter from hogwarts.
or like, if you find yourself rolling in piles of one hundred dollar bills and decide that you want to feel these things in this order: joy, fear, excitement, fear, happiness, fear, love, fear, failure, fear, pride, fear, joy. then you’re probably ready to have kids.

Ask Laneia

formspring.me

I think I need a random hookup, but I’m terrible at them. I always end up feeling guilty. Also, I don’t have any lady FWBs. Is there a way to have my cake an eat it to? (pun intended.)

the thing is that it’s actually really easy to have cake and eat cake as well
like it’s not hard to make that happen
it’s just that it’s a LOT of stuff at once – having cake and eating it. it can be overwhelming to keep up, for some people.

anyhow, you think you need something that you’re terrible at?
you need to figure out what appeals to you about something reportedly unpleasant
what aspect of this experience appeals to you?
isolate that aspect of it and then decide if that’s worth it, given all the negative stuff on the other side. really it’s just a problem you can figure out, and then decide what to do.

and then do it.
would be my advice

Ask Riese a brand new thing

formspring.me

I’m still really into my ex, but I feel like I seriously need to go on dates to make myself move on, but I just don’t have the motivation when I’m not not nearly as attracted to anyone else.

you probably won’t be attracted to anyone else for a while
but you’ll get there
start small
try just liking someone else
wanting to hang out with someone else
feeling like smiling every time you see someone else’s picture
just try getting to those things first
nothing ever changes right away!
i mean, there are days you wanna listen to ‘blister in the sun’ and feel like you’re totally over jordan catalano, but that’s actually just one of the smaller things, too, is that day.
one foot in front of the other, grasshopper
one person and then the next
dates can be fun! you get to learn all these weird things about a stranger for a few hours
it’s better than teevee, probs

Ask Riese a brand new thing

formspring.me

Is there a way to tell o.b. that I bought their brand of tampons because they advertise on Autostraddle? Because it’s true. I am a satisfied customer that will continue buying their product, and I want Autostraddle to get some credit for that!

what a fantastic idea!

WELL, you can go to ob’s website –> https://www.obtampons.com/en/questions-contact.

that way your message goes directly to the customer care team at johnson & johnson. then if the brand team hears form their colleagues that people are saying that they love ob because of autostraddle, they will probably do elated backflips. just a tip. :-)

Ask Riese a brand new thing

formspring.me

I know it’d be *REALLY* good for my happiness/confidence if I went to the next A-Camp, but I have no idea how to do that, as a college student who’s closeted to her parents and gets most of her money from them. Was anyone else in that situation this time?

i’m sure they were, yes! you should apply for a campership!

http://www.autostraddle.com/a-camp-september-2012-its-campership-time-138216/

Ask Riese a brand new thing

formspring.me