I think I knew I was in something that could last when I imagined us being old together, which sounds really cliche but have you ever tried it? Imagine yourself being old with — and therefore having lived a super long time in the same house, and dealing with all the ups and downs of life with — the same person. That person. The one who’s making all the noise in the kitchen while you’re trying to write and always hangs her towel in the place you ask everyone to please not hang their towel. Imagine 40 more years of that, and see what you feel like. I imagined it and I felt like I’d be the luckiest asshole on earth.
This day is a total blank space in my memory but I am 99% sure nothing sexy happened.
There’s less at stake emotionally with a casual partner. This is the very target at which critics aim their arrows—how can women enjoy sex without an emotional connection?!—but this lack of investment can be freeing. It’s the same relative anonymity that causes some people to blurt out their deepest secrets to their hairdresser or a taxi driver. When we’re with someone who isn’t a fixture of our daily life, our egos relax enough to let a little authenticity come through. Rather than worrying about impressing the other person, you can be more assertive.
The benefits of casual sex, via this week’s NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday.
Dirty talk (and, to an intermittent extent, phone sex) has remained somewhat of a staple in my sexual wheelhouse for the past 16 years. It’s a fun way to share fantasies without needing to have the, “So, can we sit down and tell each other over coffee what we want but are scared to ask for in bed?” talk, and can kick things up a notch if the sex is too vanilla. And, if I’m going to be honest here, it’s kind of a power trip to know that the words coming out of your mouth are helping to get someone off.
This week’s NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday includes a guide to getting better at talking dirty, among other things.
Yeah, sometimes sex really is weird or gross or embarrassing or everything at once — and that is part of why it is awesome.
Dating can be a total bloodsport. Lolita Bandita walks you through what to do when sexytimes go red.
Don’t know what to get the one you adore this season? Check out our gift guide chock full of beautiful and totally awesome sex toys!
Rebecca Kling and Chicago’s Early to Bed Say “Trans Women + Sex = Awesome”
Rebecca Kling and Chicago’s Early to Bed Say “Trans Women + Sex = Awesome”
feature image via Shutterstock
As we all know, the Internet is made up of primarily two things: cat pictures and sex. Whether you’re looking for photos, videos, stories, discussions, toys, or partners, the good folks of the Web are more happy to provide a dizzying (and occasionally, nightmare-inducing) variety. Oh yeah, and ADVICE. There’s a veritable army of folks who want to give you advice…
The Other Kind of Treasure Chest: Sex Toy Piracy and What It Means for You
The Other Kind of Treasure Chest: Sex Toy Piracy and What It Means for You
As a writer, I would be very upset if someone distributed my work without my knowledge or consent and disrupted by ability to make a living with my craft, which is why I generally oppose piracy. That’s just one layer of the effects of piracy, though. There are so many more layers when you consider types of piracy that mess with the things you use on or in your body. I am talking, of course, about…
You Need Help: What’s The Deal With Scissoring?
You Need Help: What’s The Deal With Scissoring?
I got this question in my (in)box:
What’s the big deal with scissoring? I can’t even imagine how it would be done. How? Does it actually do anything for you?
And then I realized something crazy — I haven’t written one single thing about scissoring. Not. Even. One. Weird, right? Because scissoring is, like, the ubiquitous sex activity that all of us are supposed to be taking part in, yeah? On the…
You Need Help: Here Is A Worksheet To Help You Talk To Partners About Sex
You Need Help: Here Is A Worksheet To Help You Talk To Partners About Sex
Worksheet content by Ali and Dani , graphic design by Geneva.
We answer sex questions on this here website. And let me tell you, as a person who sometimes answers them, the number one piece of advice I give out is to open your mouth. And not in, like, a sexual way. What I mean by that is you have to talk to your sex partner or partners about the same issue you just talked to me about. And that…
Going Beyond Going Down: Why Diverse Queer Sex On TV Matters
Going Beyond Going Down: Why Diverse Queer Sex On TV Matters
Abby: “I am almost to the end of the first season of Orphan Blackand one of the characters is gay — and I can’t tell you too much because I don’t wanna spoil it — and has gay sex. She just hooked up with a lady for the first time on the show. And another character on the show is a woman and has had sex with a man multiple times. And every time she has sex with a man, she is ass naked. Literally.…
You Need Help: From Bondage Beginner to Terrific Top
You Need Help: From Bondage Beginner to Terrific Top
I found this question in my inbox:
I love bondage! I’m an experienced sub/switch, but my partner is pretty inexperienced in BDSM. She is much more interested in being the Domme/Master but doesn’t feel like she knows what to do or say. How can we start having fun BDSM sex that doesn’t feel like I’m in charge!?
Hello my dear reader! This is a question that I get a lot, and most of the time I have…
You Need Help: Vulvas Taste Like Vulvas
I got this question in my inbox just last week, and I bumped it to the top of the queue because my…