Butch women exist. Find some. It’ll blow your mind in the best way.
The Cousin You Drink With Downstairs Every Time There’s a Family Get-Together: Liquor in the Flask
Everyone has one of these, right? I mean, I have one of these. I’d also recommend buying some sort of bright, like, silver or white metallic sharpie and filling in the blank on this flask before giving it to someone, just to make sure it’s really unique and special. If they’re gay, you’re gonna have a grand ol’ time figuring out what to say. If they’re not, maybe just write “time of need” so that they never understand the implied joke here for as long as you both shall live.
Holigay Gift Guide 2015: The Ultimate Guide to Giving Autostraddle Merch to Everyone
Your Activity Partner: Scissoring Boxer Briefs
Did you see that episode of 90 Day Fiancé this season where the Russian girl married the Mormon dude and they were both in their twenties and the “raciest” gift she got at her bridal shower was a totally normal nightgown for her wedding night courtesy of her new grandma-in-law? Well. Let’s just say this is not your Mormon grandma-in-law’s sexy time sleepwear.
Holiday Gift Guide 2015: The Ultimate Guide to Giving Autostraddle Merch to Everyone
The Queer DIY Grrl in Your Life: Scissoring Tote Bag
The only thing better than a double entendre is a bag that actually does do two completely separate tasks. By day, it can broadcast to everyone who comes into contact with her that she’s gay as fuck. By night, it can hold her knitting needles neatly under the computer desk in a completely unassuming manner.
Holiday Gift Guide 2015: The Ultimate Guide to Giving Autostraddle Merch to Everyone
God you’re such a champion! Look at this champion, everyone! This could be you! This could be all of us! The rising tide of how great this person is doing will lift all boats! Mazel tov!
This is it; you’re at the end of the line—you officially know every ghey in your city. Friends. Friends of friends. Roommates of friends of friends. Exes. Crushes. Ex-flings. Acquaintances you always, always see out dancing but never actually meet. They’re all here, goddammit, and there’s nowhere to hide—there’s an awkward encounter waiting to ambush you in every room.
When I started thinking about how to fight my Seasonal Affective Disorder this year, I made the terrifying decision that I would tell the people closest to me what I needed from them to help me fight my battles. I made that decision because I’ve tried to fight SAD all by myself for a decade and have never been successful. I made the decision because I’ve come to believe that my one wild and precious life will never be full if I don’t proactively, aggressively dismantle my childhood hardwiring.
Let’s see how cute it is in 10 or 15 years…
[same commenter, a few minutes later]
So many ifs