Plus Gaby Dunn and her girlfriend being adorable, a very cute Lena Waithe selfie, and more!
Casually shipping Jupiter and Venus, don’t worry about it.
Spoiler alert: this also features Jasika Nicole’s dog Rosie
Once, and only once, did I ever let my brain consider the possibility that I might like girls in a way that was different than what was expected of me. I considered this thought, honestly and quietly, knowing that this had the potential to rip my world apart, and then I reminded myself that I barely knew how to survive with the identity I already had. I didn’t know how to be poor, and black, and biracial, AND queer. So I wasn’t. I shut it down. I quieted the voice inside of me, convincing it that this was not a world in which it could survive. I had seen no examples of anyone like me, not in my life, not on tv, not in books, so rather than be the first of my kind, I decided not to exist.
Do you know how traumatizing it is to live your life thinking that you don’t exist?
Jasika Nicole via I Didn’t Know How to Be Poor, Black, Biracial, AND Queer; So I Wasn’t
My first Christmas with her family was a bottomless crockpot of steaming apple cider, a big Christmas dinner where every chair in the home got pushed into the dining room so that everyone could sit and eat together, Secret Santa gifts being carefully opened as we sat in a circle surrounding a pile of wrapping paper that grew as tall as the Christmas tree. I could appreciate the feelings of of love and thoughtfulness that were present with Claire’s family, and I wondered for the first time if I could develop a relationship with Christmas on my own terms. That’s what being an adult is about, right? Taking what works for you and respectfully discarding what doesn’t?
I knew that I wanted to experience the good feelings that are tied in with the holidays, the ones where you celebrate your family and friends, the ones where you show appreciation and love for all the good times you have shared with them. But I also knew that I didn’t want to partake in the mad shopping frenzy that the holiday season had become famous for. So I started racking my brain for fun, easy DIYs that I could create in bulk for Christmas gifts. Over the past several years I’ve fine-tuned my methods, narrowed down my favorite gifts to make and to give, and come up with a pretty decent list of DIYs that all exist on the easy-to-intermediate scale of how-to. I promise, you can do it too!
I Reclaimed Christmas With DIY Gifting: Here’s 6 Ways You Can Too
…what was there to be excited about, knowing that getting the Peaches & Cream Barbie you had been pining over might be the reason your family didn’t have hot water for a week? I learned early on how to settle for less, how to exaggerate thankfulness and hide disappointment, how to never be the cause of undo stress for my Mom. This was probably easy for me to navigate as a kid because Christmas with my Dad was such a different experience; a boisterous, joyful occasion spent with my cousins and my grandma, my uncles and aunt, opening presents whose cost never concerned me. This was the privilege my Dad got to have; since he only had custody of me for two weekends out of the month, he could make sure that every moment we spent together was precious and perfect. If he struggled with money issues, he only voiced his concerns during the weekdays when I wasn’t around. But this is also the effect of having grandparents who didn’t want to be a part of your life. My white mother had been shunned by her parents for dating outside her race, and they were estranged for most of my childhood. Christmas with just my Mom felt quiet and sad. She did her best to make the day exciting for me, but on a holiday that is supposed to celebrate love, family and togetherness, she could never recreate the experience I had at my Dad’s house. I remember feeling guilty about being excited for my Dad to pick me up to spend Christmas with him — I hated to leave my Mom by herself with nothing to keep her company but our beautiful tree and the never-ending loop of Christmas songs on the radio. The insidious trickle-down effect of racism was never more prevalent for me than during the Christmas holidays.
Jasika Nicole via 6 Ways to Make the Holidays Your Own with DIY Gift Projects
Clothing is still a way for me to communicate to the world how I feel and who I am, but now that I have learned to make most of it it myself — everything from bras to jeans — clothing also makes me feel empowered. I might be having a shitty day that makes me feel inferior and daft, but at least I look amazing in this handmade dress! Hilton Al’s White Girls might have been so far over my head that I barely made it through a hundred pages, but hey, I know how to make shoes! The zombie apocalypse may be looming ominously in our future, but guess what — I’ll be able to knit all of us chunky sweaters to keep us warm in the darkest of winters!
Jasika Nicole on how slow fashion changed her life.
