Welcome to You Need Help! Where you’ve got a problem and yo, we solve it. Or we at least try.
Q: Is there any way a so-called “mixed orientation” marriage can ever work? My straight, cis husband and I have been together for almost 15 years, and we have a young child together. When we started dating, I told him I was bi, but that it wouldn’t be an issue since I…
Hold onto your eggs, we’re getting ready for Autostraddle’s International Brunch Weekend 8/23-24! Find a brunch meetup in your city or create your own by heading over to our events page. You can also load up on all things brunch by watching this space. From playlists to recommendations to personal essays, we’re writing all about the brunch experience. Get excited! BRUNCH.
Adrienne Rich once asked in her fab essay “Blood, Bread, and Poetry,” “How have people lived and suffered in the past? How am I going to live my life?” For many queer women, secrecy and clawing our way forward in the dark of the world is part of the deal. We didn’t know we were or we didn’t know we could or we knew but we had to hide or we knew but we didn’t see anyone else knowing so we stopped…
This question recently landed in my magical inbox of a thousand stories:
i hope you’re having a really great day! i’m just wondering if you could tell me if this is how the world works:
1. i have no room on my macbook air
2. my 160gb portable hard drive from 2006 is predictably also full
3. i can’t move anything to dropbox from my mac bc my mac is full 4. if i buy a 1tb hard drive, i can move…
Worksheet content by Ali and Dani , graphic design by Geneva.
We answer sex questions on this here website. And let me tell you, as a person who sometimes answers them, the number one piece of advice I give out is to open your mouth. And not in, like, a sexual way. What I mean by that is you have to talk to your sex partner or partners about the same issue you just talked to me about. And that…
Oh my stars and garters. Batten down the hatches! Bid your loved ones farewell! You’d better find your pearls and start clutching, because winter is coming and the New York Times has identified a horrifying new trend.
But no one goes on dates anymore so who gives a shit? Listen, I like the word date. It points to something old-fashioned, super dreamy and evokes major swoons from my round brown belly.
I didn’t go on an actual date until I was 21 years old. This hard femme tropical storm puffed out her chest, shoulders straight back and with a super huge grin on her face, looked me in the eyes and said, “Hey, I want to do a thing with you. Will you do this thing with me, please?” The earth gave out under me as I answered, “OHMYGD, yes!” The difference between an intentional request for your presence and a vague text message about going to do a thing a lot of other people are going to too so it really doesn’t matter if you show up because the person who invited you will be surrounded by everyone they know, is huge — like Sabado Gigante huge. Ever since that first time, I’ve been a sucker for going on actual, bonafide, True Life: motherf*cking dates. They happen and will happen forever, fuck the internet. We can’t let the patriarchy and technology and the systematic oppression of all our souls steal the beautiful, simple joy of going on a date.
Fourteen years ago, I moved out of San Francisco to the suburbs, to shack up with my betrothed. When you do that, move out to the suburbs, San Francisco revokes your queer credibility card at the westernmost point of the Bay Bridge. San Francisco looks at you with an expression part pity, part genuine concern and asks, “What’s it going to be like for you out there?” as if you’re moving to the unforgiving Sahara, sans provisions. At least that’s what it was like fourteen years ago.
Today marks the beginning of the first weekend of Coachella, which means that summer festival season is officially upon us. Somewhere out in the world, OutKast are preparing to embark upon a 40-stop festival tour despite tangible evidence of any new OutKast material. For those of us who are slightly less ambitious, one or two outdoor festivals this summer sound like a doable thing. According to thousands of thrill-seeking masochists, nothing sounds better than gathering in a large and chaotic environment, paying exorbitant amounts for tickets, accommodations, camping and food, and basking in a pit of sweaty, potentially unstable strangers while listening to the delightfully muddy strains of a marginally popular, recently hyped band playing several hundred feet away.
That’s right. None. Contrary to popular belief, bras don’t improve breast health, prevent breast sagging, or anything else. Quite simply, there is no agreed upon health benefit to wearing bras that applies to every single woman.
“I’m a broke-ass college student looking to explore the magical world of sex toys, but 1. I’m not putting anything made of a shady material in my body, and 2. I want to explore everything all the time forever. This gets expensive really fast, as I’m sure you know. I was just wondering if you knew of any good sources to buy used sex toys from. I know that’s kind of weird but I buy used everything else and as long as it can be boiled I think that I would be okay with using a used sex toy. Any suggestions?”
I went to a party. I met this beautiful lady. We didn’t talk much, but we DID spend a decent amount of time making out and dancing. Her friends showed up and we parted ways, but exchanged numbers. I asked her to text me and she said she would. I met her on a Saturday and now it’s Tuesday.
Should I text her? Should I give up waiting for her to text me?
My day job is pretty cool, and I’m really lucky to have it — I get to do things I like, I’m friends with my coworkers, and I JUST GOT MOVED next to this awesome window, with a view of a small wind turbine spinning inspiringly in the distance. Still, when I quit being a gardener a couple of years ago in order to sit down all day and look at a screen, I quickly noticed a pronounced difference in my…
I love bondage! I’m an experienced sub/switch, but my partner is pretty inexperienced in BDSM. She is much more interested in being the Domme/Master but doesn’t feel like she knows what to do or say. How can we start having fun BDSM sex that doesn’t feel like I’m in charge!?
Hello my dear reader! This is a question that I get a lot, and most of the time I have…
