yes, i have felt irreparably sad and hopeless. sometimes even now, for a few hours or a day or two at a time, i feel that way again. it’s a very familiar spiral, it’s a banister i can feel in my sleep. no matter what is actually happening. and it feels familiar like a blanket but terrible like a blanket made out of silver or something heavy. i’ve felt irreparably sad and hopeless for days, weeks, months at a time. on and off forever, and chances are good i will feel that way again. maybe even tomorrow! it’s just a thing. it just happens. i take wellbutrin now, which helps a lot and it happens a lot less. i guess at some point i accepted that it will never stop happening, that life isn’t like that, and now i just try to accept that it happens, and try and figure out how to make sure it affects as few people as possible. i haven’t necessarily figured that out yet. i’m working on it.
YAYAH DONATE!!!!! it will make me feel irreparably happy and hopeful.