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This is perfect.
“Three guys hanging out backstage in Columbus” -obama twitter
“My girlfriend Zeller and I met on OkCupid. I love her, and maybe someday we’ll get married and have babies and sit in rocking chairs on our front porch with lap blankets. Maybe we’ll just adopt six thousand cats. I suppose you could call us a success story. Then, why do I still feel the need to give her the weird side-eye and awkwardly laugh when people ask how we met?”
Your zipper, like my tongue, does not want to remain in place.
Aimee Hermann, “if you forget, I kissed you here”