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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

I can’t deal with this locker room. Where am I supposed to look? Everyone is so hot. Everyone is so hot and so not fully clothed. Just let them be hot, DeAnne. They’re not being hot FOR YOU. Just let them be hot. They’re just super hot hot yoga girls.

Thank god I don’t get visible erections.

I wonder if sharks get erections.

My erections are on the inside.

Starfish are weird.

Don’t be creepy about this, DeAnne. Yes, so people aren’t wearing shirts. This is a changing room. They are changing. We are all adults here. We are all hot, shirtless adult human women. Don’t look at anyone. Don’t make eye contact. Oh god. Okay, maybe don’t look down either, because Jesus Christ, that’s an ass. That is a sweet yoga ass. Oh my god, the things I would…okay, get a hold of yourself. Just relax. Relax. You can do this. Don’t smile. Jesus. Don’t smirk. That’s worse. OH MY GOD. Are you for real biting your lip, like a dude from a sexist 80s movie? Do NOT bite your lip. Whatever you do, do NOT put a finger in your mouth to keep from biting your lip. You are the creepiest person alive. Get out of this changing room. Now.

Deanne Smith’s inner monologue at her yoga class via DeAnne Smith and Hot Yoga | Autostraddle
Source: autostraddle.com
thekilljoyqueer
We all imagine the promised land. Whether it’s the person standing across from us as we promise our lives to them, or the house we eventually live in, or the job we’ll one day find. The imagining itself is important, it gives hope in the desert, it allows us to tell our children and ourselves stories that comfort us.
But things hardly ever turn out the way we imagine. We worship idols, we make careless sacrifices, we lose friends and family, we sometimes turn against each other. Sometimes our entire worldview changes because one person enters our lives. Sometimes we witness awesome miracles. Sometimes we have a moment to pause and marvel at the world around us, at the circumstances that brought us to where we are, at how different it is in reality from what we imagined.
Becca, Autostraddle (http://www.autostraddle.com/imagining-the-promised-land-204731/)  (via thekilljoyqueer)