Dammit Autostraddle, this is an important question I need to know the answer to!
Baffling exchange with a former friend and peak white feminist that followed me posting my first autostraddle article (it's time for white feminists to stop talking about solidarity and start acting)
- White girl: I am confused as to why you deleted me on facebook, all I did with disagree with your comment on intersectionlity in an attempt to understand it more. Despite being white and from a middle class background, I feel that I still have a right to call myself a feminist and I feel that your argument comes across as aggressive, antagonistic and somewhat counter-productive. I don't understand why you feel it necessary to write a blog post about my friends and I and remove us from facebook rather than engage in an open debate.
- Me: I don't have to engage in debate if I don't want to. We disagree on things, that's cool, but I don't have to stay around people that will wilfully dismiss and belittle what I'm tryna say. I get that you don't think you did much wrong or whatever but I'm tired of having to even have to have such 'debates' with people. It's dull and frustrating and hurtful. If you really wanna understand my point of view I suggest that you read the works of people like Audre Lorde and bell hooks or this amazing blog http://www.gradientlair.com/ which literally has essays on any subject you care to think of with relation to race and feminism. xxx
- White girl: No, the only reason that you don't want to debate your point is that you won't listen to any other points of view?! Also, I have read Bell Hooks so THANKS BBZ
- Me: Reading clearly isn't the same as understanding
- There is no room for 'points of view' in the framework of lived experience, unless those points of view come from
- those whose oppression is being discussed. You wouldn't let a man tell you about being a woman so why is it so difficult to comprehend this?
- I'm truly confused. You're a smart girl with a Uni education. This shouldn't be beyond you.
- White girl: Could say the same to you. Perhaps you should actually look more into intersectional feminism because then you would see that preaching hate against white people is completely counter-productve.
- Me: Firstly 'intersectional feminism' is BLACK feminism.
- The term has been co opted and watered down into whatever bullshit hype you're on.
- White girl: Don't patronise me please, this is to do with preaching hate and nothing to do with the "sisterhood" you claim to be part of. Why don't you actually aim to work alongside white women rather than argue with them? It strengthens the cause
- Me: I work with white women who recognise when they need to accept that they're not always right. Which you clearly can't do. I want to work with white women but only those who see that my rallies against whiteness aren't personal attacks but a way of making ppl interrogate the ways that they perpetuate (often unknowingly) unfair systems of racial disparity
- White girl: Please explain to me why you think that I can't do that? I am trying to understand your point but all your doing is telling me that I'm not as oppressed as you are, does that make my opinion less valuable than yours? In which case, which one of us is now the oppressor
- Me: It makes your opinion less valuable on the subject of black feminism. Yes.And I'm not oppressing you by saying that. There is no system of oppression behind my words working to make you be less employable, more likely to go to prison, more likely to be sexually assaulted etcetera etcetera. Oppression isn't a word to be thrown around lightly
- White girl: Oppression is oppression. Once you start claiming that one form of oppression is more important than another, you have lost the cause. Being raped as a white girl is the same as being raped as a black girl. Rape is rape regardless of colour, creed and gender. Likewise, how can you say that being catcalled on the street is any less oppressive than racial discrimination?I am genuinely interested in your opinions though but would like to have a proper discussion in debate scenario.
NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Watch
NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Watch
Feature image via burnthawitch.
A sexting game, the way people smell, a cuddling app and more!
Cara Delevigne is Rockin’ Menswear This Sunday Funday
Cara Delevigne is Rockin’ Menswear This Sunday Funday
I don’t know about y’all, but I had a pretty fabulous fuckin’ week. Now that it’s Sunday Funday, though, the past is but a distant memory – and cuter, more heartwarming things await. Let’s dig in to some quite upbeat queer updates!
No group of people on earth had ever sought me out and claimed me as their own. I’ll never ever forget that moment. It’s changed and deepened my experiences as a queer human on this earth forever. A family chose me, not because of blood or looks or wealth, but because they could see me pouring my soul out into the world and they knew I was worthy of love just for being here.
All My Sims Are Queer, Here, Getting Used To Sims 4
All My Sims Are Queer, Here, Getting Used To Sims 4
I wouldn’t call myself a gamer. I don’t play World of Warcraft or Call of Duty or Halo. I don’t really know what Destiny is. I never got into Farmville even though everyone on Facebook really wanted me to buy a cow or give them a cow or find a lost cow or milk a cow or slaughter a cow (I still don’t know how Farmville works, but it involves randomly asking your friends to do stuff with cows, I know that). When smartphones became affordable circa 2006, I immediately gravitated towards the not-super-fun Blackberry because it had a better email client for Outlook.
The Autostraddle Insider: Issue Three, September 2014
The Autostraddle Insider: Issue Three, September 2014
Were mermaids the original lesbian separatists? What thrilling editorial conversations were had this month? Those questions and more are tackled in this peek behind the curtains.
Once More With Feeling: House Democrats Make Renewed Push ENDA Vote
Once More With Feeling: House Democrats Make Renewed Push ENDA Vote
feature image via shutterstock
The Employment Non-Discrimination Act, or ENDA, has had a pretty tumultuous year. After weeks of hearings, amendments, and fierce debate, last November the Senate passed a version of ENDA that included protections for transgender people for the first time. Unfortunately, in the 10 months since then, the bill has languished because Speaker of the House John Boehner refuses to allow a vote on the measure, as he feels the bill is “unnecessary” and will cause “frivolous lawsuits.” In response to Congress dragging its feet on the bill, President Obama signed an executive order earlier this year banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity by federal contractors.
FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Let’s Make Some Fall Resolutions
FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: Let’s Make Some Fall Resolutions
Hello, pumpkin seeds! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for us to draw all over each other’s faces when we fall asleep. JK! It’s time for the Friday Open Thread, which couldn’t have come sooner because I really miss you guys. I’m so glad you’re here! Never leave me.
Tatu’s Yulia Volkova: Girls Kissing Are Hot, but Gay Son Would Be Gross
Tatu’s Yulia Volkova: Girls Kissing Are Hot, but Gay Son Would Be Gross
In a move that should be shocking to no-one (but is actually kind of shocking), Yulia Volkova of Tatu announced in an interviewthat she has less than progressive views about homosexuality. When asked by an interviewer how she’d feel if her son were gay, the mother of two replied, “Yes, I would condemn him, because I believe that a real man must be a real man…God created man for procreation, it is the nature. The man for me is the support, the strength of… I won’t accept a gay son.” She was quick to clarify she wouldn’t mind if her daughter was a lesbian, “This only applies to a daughter, not a son.”
It’s On Us: Obama’s New Campaign Says Everyone Is Responsible for Helping End Campus Sexual Assault
It’s On Us: Obama’s New Campaign Says Everyone Is Responsible for Helping End Campus Sexual Assault
Barack Obama, the President who has already made history for speaking out against and speaking up for action on sexual assault, asking men to be “part of the solution,” announced today that there’s more. The White House and Generation Progress, in conjunction with some big-name partners ranging from organizations to corporations to sports teams to universities, have launched It’s On Us, a high-tech, multi-platform media campaign targeted at ending campus sexual assault. President Obama and Vice President Biden announced the initiative to a room of activists and advocates today, including feminist allies from Congress and survivors who spoke about their experience.