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The fact that you’re working through all this now doesn’t say anything negative about you or the way you moved through life for the past 24 years. What you did then was valid, and what you’re doing now is valid; you don’t owe anyone an explanation. (And by the way, this applies even if you use a different identity label in the future. You don’t need to justify being true to your feelings as you feel them, even if they change.)
Laura Mandanas, You Need Help: Coming Out In Your Mid/Late 20s on Autostraddle
coming out coming out in your 20s you need help
We may be at peak scale in terms of opinion/aggregation/curation websites right now. At some point, the sponsored content machine in which magazines moonlight as advertising and p.r. companies will sputter as readers cannot tell the difference between propaganda and honest argument, and have long since forgotten which site they read anything on. A site that lacks a cohering and distinct identity can become simply a competitor for an endless and often fruitless search for links, tweets and likes. At some point, readers will want a place they know and love and trust and that they will support with their own money. And they will want a return to more of the intimacy and personality of the original blogosphere.
Andrew Sullivan via The Online Conversation That’s Dying Out « The Dish
Source: dish.andrewsullivan.com
raiseusfromperdition
raiseusfromperdition: “Hey everyone! It’s time for another Queer Cuts for a Cause event! In case you haven’t been around when I’ve talked about this previously here’s a little blurb from the event’s facebook page: ““Queer Cuts for a Cause is a...
raiseusfromperdition

Hey everyone!

It’s time for another Queer Cuts for a Cause event!
In case you haven’t been around when I’ve talked about this previously here’s a little blurb from the event’s facebook page:

"Queer Cuts for a Cause is a quarterly event put on by the community, for the community. Stylists give sliding scale cuts to benefit local LGBTQ+ causes."

This month we’re going to be even bigger and better than past events. There’s new sponsors, new stylists, a new space, and a new great cause.

"This time around, Bisexual Organizing Project will take home money donated. BOP (Bisexual Organizing Project), a 501(c)(3) non-profit registered in Minnesota, primarily hosts in-person events in the greater Twin Cities Metro area. We are committed to building the Bi, Pan, Fluid, Queer, Unlabeled and Allied communities of the Upper Midwest and also host the well-known national conference on bisexuality, BECAUSE. BOP is welcoming and inclusive of everyone, including but not limited to people of all gender identities, sexual orientations, sexes, relationship orientations, ethnicities, abilities, religions and political affiliations.
BOP also works in partnership with other groups and individuals in the Upper Midwest who are organizing events serving bisexual and other non-monosexual communities.”

As a bisexual identified person I’m especially excited that we’re supporting this organization!

There’s a few ways to give at the event: You can make a direct donation to the supported cause, you can donate to the cause and receive a haircut [also tip the stylist if you wish], and you can buy a shirt and/or button.

I designed all of the promo material for the event, and I’m especially proud of the latest poster. I made an updated logo for our recent expansion into t-shirts and incorporated that logo here too. 

Usually our events don’t involve alcohol, but this event is specifically held at an alcohol-free venue, so this is a great chance to meet new people in the community for a sober event. 

We’ll have food provided by The Wedge Co-op and if my information is accurate we’ll have prizes from Smitten Kitten and GRRRL Scout too.

Please please please spread this around so that we can have an even better turn out!

I’m hoping to expand the social media presence for this event, so look out for any links I might post in the future for ways to keep up with QCFAC.

If you’re in the Twin Cities area next weekend, then I hope to see you there!

What makes call-out culture so toxic is not necessarily its frequency so much as the nature and performance of the call-out itself. Especially in online venues like Twitter and Facebook, calling someone out isn’t just a private interaction between two individuals: it’s a public performance where people can demonstrate their wit or how pure their politics are. Indeed, sometimes it can feel like the performance itself is more significant than the content of the call-out. This is why “calling in” has been proposed as an alternative to calling out: calling in means speaking privately with an individual who has done some wrong, in order to address the behaviour without making a spectacle of the address itself.

In the context of call-out culture, it is easy to forget that the individual we are calling out is a human being, and that different human beings in different social locations will be receptive to different strategies for learning and growing. For instance, most call-outs I have witnessed immediately render anyone who has committed a perceived wrong as an outsider to the community. One action becomes a reason to pass judgment on someone’s entire being, as if there is no difference between a community member or friend and a random stranger walking down the street (who is of course also someone’s friend). Call-out culture can end up mirroring what the prison industrial complex teaches us about crime and punishment: to banish and dispose of individuals rather than to engage with them as people with complicated stories and histories.

It isn’t an exaggeration to say that there is a mild totalitarian undercurrent not just in call-out culture but also in how progressive communities police and define the bounds of who’s in and who’s out. More often than not, this boundary is constructed through the use of appropriate language and terminology – a language and terminology that are forever shifting and almost impossible to keep up with. In such a context, it is impossible not to fail at least some of the time. And what happens when someone has mastered proficiency in languages of accountability and then learned to justify all of their actions by falling back on that language? How do we hold people to account who are experts at using anti-oppressive language to justify oppressive behaviour? We don’t have a word to describe this kind of perverse exercise of power, despite the fact that it occurs on an almost daily basis in progressive circles. Perhaps we could call it anti-oppressivism.

Asam Ahmad via A Note on Call-Out Culture – Briarpatch Magazine
Source: briarpatchmagazine.com
What I’m getting at here, Muriel, is that engagements are a wild ride and it’s easy to trick yourself into confusing minor bumps in the road for major road blocks. We’re taught early on that getting engaged is meant to be this perfect, magical event in our lives and while it’s pretty damn special, I’m not sure that everyone’s experience fully lives up to the fantasy. Mine hasn’t, although to me that makes sense because relationships are hard work. They’re hard work when you’re dating and hard work when you’re living together, and they’ll continue being hard work when you’re engaged and then married (I assume).
Crystal via You Need Help: A Disappointing Engagement | Autostraddle
Source: autostraddle.com
I say that these women saved my life because without them, the Me that I know and love would not be here right now. There’s just something about feeling inauthentic, impossible and insignificant that really makes life a burden, and that’s where I was for years. I was sick of living and wavered between a fear of and desire for death.
Josiane via Being Lesbian While Black & How Five African Women Saved My Life
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Probably there’s much more you could be feeling, like days and days more. Our post-breakup hearts are large, they contain multitudes. But the overall point, I guess, is this: you will notice that my commentary on these situations trends towards the cautionary. That isn’t because I don’t believe that anyone should ever get back with an ex ever, but because I know that breakups are hard and painful, and most of the time if we go through them it’s because on some level we know it’s for the best.
Rachel’s here to help you figure out if breaking up was a mistake, and also to help you process your emotions.
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