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There’s this thing I do sometimes where my girlfriend and I are cleaning the house or watching TV or drinking beers at our favorite pub or getting ready for bed and I really, earnestly, fervently go, “I love you. I just love you so much. I love our life together. And I like you. I really like you too. Baby, listen to me okay, I really love our life together.” It freaks her out. It’s the kind of thing a person says in a movie right before she gets hit by an asteroid. But I can’t help it. I do love our life together, and it’s not a thing I ever even dreamed of having.

Heather Hogan , Autostraddle’s What Does it Mean to be a Queer Adult? roundtable  (via oxfordcommas)

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[324ob21]

(Read the full Autostraddle OB 03.01 recap) autostraddle orphanblack

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[carmenrios]

the life i lead in the a+ insider is my ideal life. do you think i should tell danielle laporte.

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Our resident HBIC would want you to read this A+ Insider, stat.

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Some people argue that wanting to have a genetic child is a narcissistic desire, and I will admit that I felt that, so strongly, whatever the partner-focused version of that is. I wanted to make a mini-Simone. How could I not, when she is the most incredible person I have ever known? Doesn’t our world deserve a little more of that special Simone-ness floating around?

Haley via Queer Mama Episode Two — How We Got Knocked Up

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This is how I told everyone to pronounce my name when I went to 4-H camp in 1991: Pretend you are speaking French, but the word for ‘knee’ is the same as it is in English. Point to your knee and say la knee, then be shocked by your knee! Be amazed! Say ah! Now say it all together: la knee, ah! Now say it faster! YOU ARE TOTALLY SAYING MY NAME. Also if you want you can say it like linear, but replace the er sound at the end with an ah sound, you would also totally be saying my name. This is a lot, isn’t it? You can also pronounce it like, YOU ARE EVEN SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT YOU’D BE?! or I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ATE ALL OF THE ALMONDS DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S A DROUGHT.

If you ever wanted to know how to pronounce Laneia, check this out. There’s so many answers to questions in this post, questions which are probably burning inside you as you read this! Questions about Trader Joe’s!

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There was a lot to love about Hot Topic in 2002. The cobweb tights, leather cuffs, neon mesh sleeves, so many shades of black nail polish that you never knew existed ’til you saw a cute goth girl wearing five different kinds on each hand. The mall goths and weekend punks, like me, who expressed their rebellious hearts through Rage Against The Machine flags and black band tees. Who knew being different was important but weren’t quite ready to go it alone. Then there were the broody, slightly intimidating sales staff, whose total indifference to their jobs and customers somehow made them the most attractive and desirable people in the world.

Crystal via The Sound Of Walking Through Hot Topic In 2002

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Rachel: I realize that these words mean real things in the clothing world but I am obsessed with “petite boyfriend jean”
Who is this tiny boyfriend
Why did you steal his jeans
He will be so sad without his miniature pants
He’s just wearing two drinking straw wrappers now
Lydia: He’s definitely in straw wrappers
With a straw wrapper belting them together

The Autostraddle Insider: Issue Ten, April 2015 | Autostraddle

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Hello Autostraddle. This is Tinkerbell and I am seven years old. I am also very famous and very skinny, but one of my eyeballs is bigger than the other eyeball. I have three outfits, but I will soon have four outfits because I am sitting shiva for Tinkerbell. Not me, the other Tinkerbell. You have to wear black to sit shiva and two of my outfits are pink and one is red. The red one says UH HUH HER on it and it was signed by Leisha Hailey who wrote that I am a “hot dog.” But back to the topic of this post which is that my heroine Tinkerbell is dead and I am so sad, how do I go on.

#RIPTinkerbell, from our very own Tinkerbell.

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I can only hope that somewhere out there, Kristen Stewart and Alicia Cargile are spending today in a very friendly way. I hope they are buying matching Best Friends necklaces at Claire’s and making friendship bracelets on Kristen’s couch. They may be all we have left.

Love Is A Lie: St Vincent and Cara Delevingne Break Up, Angel Haze and Ireland Baldwin Over (Again)

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VIDEO: Amy Schumer, Tina Fey And Patricia Arquette Celebrate Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ “Last F*ckable Day”

On last night’s season three premiere of Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, Tina Fey, Patricia Arquette and Julia Louis-Dreyfus teamed up to skewer ageism and sexism in Hollywood with a highly entertaining sketch about JLD’s last fuckable day on the planet. There’s a viking funeral involved, and some ice cream called Jen & Carrie’s Vanilla of a Certain Age.

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The thing is, I DO care about the environment but I cannot stand it when white people pretend they are all connected to the earth and refuse to understand that many of us — Migrant Brown People — come from backgrounds where ‘environmentalism’ is not talked about because we grow up doing unintentional 'green’ things.

Reclaiming Abuelita Knowledge As A Brown Ecofeminista

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There’s a whole lot of reasons you might want a tarot app on your phone. Here’s Beth’s recommendations.

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It’s time to put your dancin’ shoes on, kids. Lydia’s got the perfect pairs of oxfords picked out for you - and she’s gonna show you how to wear ‘em right.

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[rorymidhani]

Header illustration for Autostraddle’s Makin’ Babies