I was with you initially because I could be myself around you which is so important, but also it was the more difficult route to try and be with you — but sometimes it’s okay to make yourself do the difficult thing in life because in the end it ends up being a good decision.
Okay dear Autostraddle readers, we need your help! This baby could come in as little as a month, and she doesn’t have a name! Simone and I have been talking about names off and on for years now, but we’ve yet to settle on something. I think maybe my commitment-phobia is rearing its head.
We decided we didn’t want a formal officiant (maybe I made that decision whatever), we wanted someone we love, because we’re having so few people and it seemed silly to have one of those people be someone who didn’t mean something to us. Anyway we asked a person we love a lot to officiate and she said yes and I am the most excited and don’t really know what to do next, I think researching how she can become an officiant and also scripts and then booking her and her person’s travel? My main priorities are being non-religious and a tiny bit witchy and working stealth poly things into the vows in a way that will not upset conservative family members. (And being married at the end of it.) Also everything is happening at a weird moon phase and I don’t know what to do about that.
Gabby, I wish this movie was about Bette Midler. This is a movie about that jar of mayonnaise and box of uncooked spaghetti.
I met this girl a few years back and this girl, dear [relative who won’t come to my wedding], damn, she is something else! The love she gives me, in fact, is what enables me to have so much love to give even to people like you, [relative who seriously what else are you doing that weekend, all your friends are gonna be at my wedding!]. We have decided to spend the rest of our lives together and maybe even start a family one day, just like you always wanted for me. I mean, yes, the exact gender of my partner is not what you always wanted for me, but is that really SUCH A BIG DEAL? So we’re having a wedding. You know what a wedding is? It’s a love party. IT’S A PARTY FOR LOVE. We are throwing a big giant party to celebrate ACTUAL LOVE. It’s a LOVE PARTY.
WHY THE HELL WON’T YOU COME TO MY LOVE PARTY?
Here’s the thing about you not coming to my love party, [relative seemingly uninterested in eating FREE FOOD]: IT’S SO MEAN.
WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO ME?!!!??
But more importantly — more telling of who you and we really are — we’ve seen you build entire communities around TV shows, support each other in coming out, make IRL friends and even find your future wives through the wonders of commenting. It’s been legitimately amazing. You’ve inspired people and changed their lives with your dedication to making this work. You’ve trusted each other, assumed good faith, reached out to newcomers, respectfully navigated grey areas that didn’t always come with obvious rights or wrongs, and generally changed the whole world, really. You’ve found a way to disagree with somebody while also making everybody laugh. We get emails all the time from readers who didn’t know anything about [trans issues, race issues, queer politics beyond marriage equality] and were grateful for the education.
We feel confident, after ten years of total immersion in internet dialogue, with stating the following: productive conversations only happen when we assume good faith and treat each other with the patience and kindness that we devote to conversations with our friends and others we know and respect.
My dad is sad I don’t want to be given away. I aggressively don’t want to be given away.
Wanna win some prizes from the bottom of Kate Beaton‘s heart? Well, boy, do we have a surprise for you.
