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I wanted to write about this week’s book not because it’s unknown but because it’s a YA title that deserves more reading outside of the genre’s usual audience, and because there are things I want to say about it that I haven’t read elsewhere: things that make it queer, inventive, and otherwise a standout.
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I think about it all the time, what would my childhood have been like if I knew it was okay to wear ‘boy’ clothes, or if I knew it was okay to walk standing up straight, or if I knew it was okay to say no to my boss. You know? TV has painted a picture for us, a picture that we all subscribe to because we don’t have the opportunity to see anything else. That’s why it’s so amazing when it happens.
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Instead of leaving, I worried about the following things: forgetting some of the paperwork even though we’d both gone over it a dozen times; not waking up for the alarm; Shannon not being allowed into the building or up to the interview or into the interview with me; not being able to hear someone talking to me through a window in a crowded room; not being able to speak loud enough that someone could hear me through a window in a crowded room, because I get quiet when I am a certain type of nervous; the interviewer being homophobic; the interview being an asshole; not getting the visa for some other reason that I hadn’t thought of yet but would definitely somehow be my fault; not getting the visa and then not being allowed in the States for a certain time period; that time period being years.
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