We drank desperately, incredible amounts, and I barely remember that year. But I do remember Lizz bringing me South Indian takeout so I could eat it while I sat on the floor packing up my apartment and crying, and I remember driving Lizz to clean out the wreck of her car after a friend totaled it and then taking her to get sandwiches from the place I worked. I remember feeling like I wasn’t sure either of us would make it, and realizing how deeply I wanted Lizz to. I didn’t know the term at the time, but it was the first time I think I understood chosen family: people who help you survive by deeply linking your survival to theirs.
There is great risk in putting all these words on the internet before we even know if this is going to work. What is it doesn’t? What if we just can’t get pregnant, for whatever reason? What if we have to make an abortion decision? What if we have a miscarriage? Honestly, we don’t know. We know it feels right to be honest and that there are so few queer narratives out there in the world around pregnancy and parenting. And we know that writing these words down has helped us so much to process, to connect with other people in our real life and online who are also trying (or tried and gave up) and we feel so much better about these decisions now. We feel less alone. We feel like we have more queer resources and support networks. We don’t regret it.
Dannielle: Do you think our friendship would be different if we were straight?
Kristin: Probably.
Dannielle: Yeah, I think we would both be talking openly about how we’re secretly gay.
Kristin: Because Everyone Is Gay.
A comic book about abortion could have been a huge misfire. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that that’s exactly why Leah Hayes’ book ‘Not Funny Ha-Ha: A Handbook for Something Hard’ is so important. It’s not only a beautifully-made and well-actualized book, but it’s also probably the most accessible and relaxed, while still being frank, discussion about abortion that I’ve ever seen.
Tanner: Dang! Foiled again!
Ella: I am going to murder you right now, and you know what? I won’t go to jail for it! Because these police officers won’t be able to build a case against me, even though they watched me strangle you with my bare hands, because you guys are the LITERAL WORST at doing your job! That guy who steered the Titanic straight into an iceberg and sank an unsinkable ship? Still better at his job than you!
Tanner: If that’s true, how come these photos are labeled “No Son Lindas” which means “They Are Not Pretty” which I know because A left this note for me because of my Latina heritage, which clues I am stitching together right before your eyes to determine that: this is somehow Alison’s fault.
Aria: I’m starting to think you’re A.
Tanner: WELL TUMBLR THINKS YOU’RE A.
Ella: Enough of this fuckery! Aria, we’re going home! If there are bees in my air conditioner, I will come back in here and stab you to death, Detective!
- Carmen: I think if it were a sport, we’d be a championship brunching team in the doubles category. We really know the ins and outs of everything you have to do in order to make brunch last five hours.
- Sophia: And everything you have to do to make you feel like you can never go back to a place.