When I realize I’m doing something that means Something Is Going On, I can go into the bedroom with the lights off and sit or lie on the bed and be quiet and still and notice the feeling I’m having for at least five or ten minutes. I’m not allowed to do anything else. If I’m sad, it’s just sitting there feeling sad. If I’m anxious, it’s just sitting there being anxious. There isn’t a step two. I notice what it feels like — if I want to cry, if I’m running a single irrational thought into the ground, if I’m physically uncomfortable or exhausted. And most importantly, I notice that the world didn’t end; nothing bad happened. I didn’t distract myself by cleaning the pantry or deciding to start finding a bunch of new food blogs to read; I just felt sad, and nothing bad happened. I survived it.
Here’s the thing about making not-great financial decisions: it happens. It happens to a lot of people. Sometimes you just make an impulsive decision. Sometimes you make a series of small impulsive decisions that rapidly spin out of control. Sometimes you have very little choice because something happens — a medical expense, a family emergency, unexpected unemployment. The reason isn’t important and we’re not here to point fingers. We’re here to talk about how to get out of debt or, if that feels too big right now, how to manage your existing credit card debt in such a way that it doesn’t keep you awake at night. Because neither you nor I are going to win the lottery tomorrow.
We must continue speaking the truth even when it feels like we’re shouting at the wind. We just have to keep working, keep walking, keep the faith that none of this is hopeless and that at the end of the day each other is all we have.
Last night, Shonda Rhimes’ TGIT line-up — Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder — returned to ABC, and brought with it six lesbian and bisexual characters (one black woman, one Latina woman, two white woman, and a pair of heartbreaking teenagers). It also featured nearly a dozen female empowerment narratives and, as usual, made the Bechdel Test look like asking a calculus professor to count to ten. That last thing isn’t surprising. ABC and Disney finally gave in this year and decided to market TGIT for exactly what it is: The most diverse, female-driven night of television in history.