(via Saturday Morning Cartoons: Baopu #15) by Yao Xiao
words to remember
I think in expressing these two boyish, playful, rebellious tomboy identities I’m trying to embody the energy of my Japanese grandmother who I’ve had to get to know through my pieced together recollections of her. I remember she always had this really playful, mischievous, secretive but lighthearted energy. But it’s really hard for me to embody the authentic part of myself that feels playful, boyish and lighthearted. In fact, I really surprised myself when I began expressing myself this way. It took me a while, actually, to realize that this gender expression reminded me of the energy of my grandmother. So in this way, gender feels like a canvas for self-discovery in ways that are surprisingly significant beyond myself. Not to get too far-out, but I truly believe that people who are alienated from their culture still have inherent remnants of their ancestor’s spirits in their own bodies. And for me, gender expression has been a way for me to discover that story in myself, name it, and embody it. In this way, I think experimenting with gender can help someone resist not only the alienation they feel from their own body, but the alienation they feel from other parts of themselves as well.
