Autostraddle’s senior editors are answering more of your Priority Inbox questions in another episode of A+ Inbox LIVE! This week’s topics include profile pics, avoiding the role of experimental queer gateway drug, passive aggressive co-workers, space and even more puppy barks.
“I finally felt that I was being led by someone as deliciously ill-equipped at being in this world as I am. And by the time it was over I thought the book was masterfully human, cerebral but self-aware, wistful, curious, judgmental, forgiving, repentant and broken.”
I’m the person who says ‘don’t swipe left’ when I let people look at my phone because it’s usually full of nudes I haven’t hidden yet. The selfie movement got me to love myself so much that I started wanting to see myself naked more often. So I do my makeup, put on sexy lingerie and photograph myself while I slowly take it off.
Every two people who come together to figure out what sex between them will look like encounter a unique alchemy. We bring all of our experiences into that moment, the euphoric ones and the traumatic ones. We bring all of our insecurities, all the TV shows we’ve watched and books we’ve read and advertisements we’ve seen, all the advice our friends and family have given us. We bring our cultural programming and our religious upbringings. Sometimes we bring our sweetest hopes and deepest fears too.
Your panicked questions, the constant pressure, and those backhanded compliments all imply that my disability is a problem I need you to solve. That’s kind of the only language we have for when able-bodied and disabled people get together. And I, for one, am pretty bored of it. So let me offer an alternative: I don’t need you to save me. I need you to see me.
