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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
Sarah asked me to write about a documentary that changed my life, and let me tell you something, I am such a different person after watching The Carter Documentary that they won’t let me into bars with the same ID anymore. Your life looks pretty different after finding out that a real human person can drink that much cough syrup in one day and not only survive, but sell like 80 million albums in one day. Virtually every aspect of my daily life has changed, for better or for worse, after watching this documentary. Every decision you make will now be made with the understanding that, instead of doing your laundry or playing mah jongg, you could have gotten the ESPN symbol tattooed on your forearm or written a rap about Robitussin and weed that would earn you enough money to purchase a small country in Eastern Europe.
Source: autostraddle.com

Why does The Laughing Cow laugh?

i think because of hormones? because the laughing cow represents cheese and in order to get cheese, you have to have milk, and to have milk, cows have to be given lots of hormones to mimic natural lactation. so it’s safe to assume, if you’re being injected with hormones that mimic the natural levels of postpartum hormones, you’re probably feeling pretty crazy and emotional and sometimes, when you’re crazy and emotional, all you can do is laugh.
maybe?

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do you still have the maddow as your ringtone? all i remember it was something about her saying gay and you wanted it as your ringtone haha

THAT WAS SO LONG AGO HOW DID YOU STILL KNOW ME THEN. sometimes i feel like i’ve been on the internet for longer than i’ve been alive.
now everything’s set to vibrate, but i had that ringtone for at least a month. it doesn’t matter, though, b/c no one ever calls me.

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Do you dye your hair?

yeah, i have been since i was 12 (as soon as my hair started darkening, my family rushed in to remedy the situation, now i don’t know how to not be blonde). howevs it’s been some time now since i’ve been able to afford a haircut/dye (the box stuff turns my hair orange) so I’m rocking this two-toned look and REALLY LONG HAIR THAT IS SORT OF DRIVING ME CRAZY. Who needs hair this long? I hate it. It’s almost past my shoulders. I feel violated by my hair, can’t take it much longer.

I’m going to die my hair.

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