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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Julia (Miss feb?) is super hot. Can you pimp her out? Is she single? Does she like femme or butch girls?

yes she is single. i actually am personally responsible for pimping her out, so you came to the right place. julia tends to go for more feminine girls but you know, she’s young. flexible. the ceiling to her room is really low though just so you know. also, her mattress used to be taylor’s mattress. keep it in mind. you should ‘follow’ her on twitter @juliaOA

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I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can.
The Catcher in the Rye

The fact that you like Bob Evans has just made you infinitely more amazing.

it’s bob who is amazing, for the blueberry pancakes, and also for the incredibly edible sausage products, but most of all, for the red-and-yellow color scheme that reminds me of when i was little and excited, driving to ohio, to play games in the cornfields on their farm and feel like life was authentic, though i wouldn’t have used the word “authentic’ then, i mean clearly, and also of the best breakfast i ever had in traverse city michigan, and all the coffee & cigarettes afterwards and before

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What is your standard daily meal plan, including snacks? thanks.

(2) units coffee with (2) units half-and-half
(1) unit carbohydrate accompanied by (1) unit melted cheese, cream cheese or peanut butter or egg product
(1) unit coca-cola
(1) sandwich on (1) wheat bun with (1) meat (1) cheese (1) lettuce (1) tomato slice
(1) unit potato chips
(1-2) string cheese or (2) units cashews or almonds or (1) unit granola bar
(2-25,000) units chocolate or cookies
(1) unit “dinner” - magic salad (greens, annie’s basalmic vinagrette, garden-burger, dill, goat cheese) or steamed vegetables/tofu with rice or vegetable tempura or fajitas or a cheeseburger or pasta with tofu and pesto or grilled cheese to toast or absolutely nothing or an actual meal that a real person should eat
(1) unit “3am snack” - usually more cookies

I do not recommend anyone who wants to live past the age of 30 to follow this meal plan. Similarly I’d like to note that three years ago, I actually ate meals which involved multiple food groups, fresh fruits & vegetables, healthy proteins, smoothies and well-balanced items of many colors. i have devolved. Growing up with a professional nutritionist and forced to engage in nutrition classes for her to test her lesson plans, I know better. Also though I’m allergic to citric acid, which cuts a lot of stuff out.

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When did you decide to become known more as Laneia rather than Green on the interwebs?

riese was putting together a press release for autostraddle and one of her selling points was that ‘99%’ of the authors went by their real names [b/c using real names promotes honesty which, we hope, translates into readers feeling more comfortable and trusting us / themselves. we’re not afraid to say who we are, so you shouldn’t be either, etc.]

anyway i was the only person using a fake name. so i changed it b/c i wanted riese to be able to say '100%.’ i wanted to be real.

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