oh, love,
you are here. here is ‘it.’ you are 'it.’ not that.
you will always be you, regardless.
you must be tested, and you know that. i know your reasoning - i’ve used it myself - but you can’t sustain this kind of denial for much longer.
knowing is always better than not knowing. i wish you would go tomorrow. go tomorrow and let’s talk about it. tell me the color of the walls and how inane or lovely the nurse was. tell me you wore those shoes you like. tell me how you wanted to fall away when they took the blood. it’s ok. it’s ok because you didn’t fall anywhere.
you’re still right here.