the answer to that first question is complicated
so, i’m going to say ‘december 2005’ was my last sexual encounter with a boy i liked
and 'september 2004–>january 2005’ was my last relationship with a man
that is a half-answer
the answer to that second question doesn’t exist
i am sorry to be so half-y today
you asked this two days ago.
i hope you’ve gotten started.
if worse comes to worse
you will submit something less-than-phenomenal
but you will submit something.
get on it!
i’ve had 3x sex dreams about joey tribiani
everything written
before the mid-80’s
is misogynist
of everything written
since the mid-80’s
about 75% of it
is misogynist
it helps to consider it
in context
consider that in this day and age,
i think they would’ve been
very different men
in this regard
i spilled biosilk in my suitcase
so today my hair isn’t as soft as it usually is
i used to color it with magic markers
i think i am too old for bubble-gum
at this point
i mean really
alright LET’S GET REAL HERE, grasshopper!
you don’t want to be her friend!
you want to be her friend in hopes
that being her friend
will eventually lead to a moment
when you can be not-friends
the kind of not-friends that kiss each other
you can only really be friends with an ex
if you both want to be friends
otherwise it’s like playing volleyball with a tennis raquet;
she’s playing volleyball, you’re playing tennis with a volleyball,
so you’re not playing the same game so nobody’s going to win, and you might accidentally hit her in the face with a volleyball or bust your raquet open
you know?
also, i am sorry that you are sad.
it gets better. you’ll be ok.
after a few weeks maybe you can be friends.
just not yet, maybe?
do i have any chance at all?
- no -
should i stage a run-in?
-no-
see –
you’ve not met this girl IRL yet.
this is a problem.
you can build strong relationships online
but i don’t think you can build a thing online
that would be worthy of Large Dramatic Gestures
with their possible risks of Large Dramatic Sadness.
in general save the dramatics for relationships that have involved actual kissing or your awareness of how her smell lingers on your clothing or how her eyes look when she laughs. otherwise you will be a very tired panda.
if she started ignoring you after little bit of online communication, i mean,
just imagine what she might do after a few weeks of actual 3-D interaction. probably will involve rayguns.
i didn’t think anyone would notice
email it. i may not answer right away because i’m having the kind of week in which i wish i had someone to ask questions to on formspring, but i will answer you. eventually.
I like keeping my money in my pocket. We all do. But I think tax day should be a national holiday. I love roads and schools and libraries and the fact that sewers exist. I love the arts and research and I really really really love the Internet. I love that in paying my taxes, I can help to ensure that fewer kids go to sleep hungry at night. And I don’t even mind that it’s forced, cause sometimes I’m not as generous as my community needs me to be.
I support personal responsibility. I really do. But I believe in social safety nets. We have sufficient resources to ensure that everyone in the country can have basic services. When we fail to ensure that, we fall short of what we can be and should be as country.
but what if the new roommate isn’t a jackass? then your house would consist of two cool people and one jackass, and you could gang up on him and make is life miserable! wheee!
probably, yes. just please don’t murder or maim me. i’m serious.
