Can ANYONE be made of kittens? More importantly, CAN I BE MADE OF KITTENS? ALL I WANT IS TO BE MADE OF KITTENS.
yes of course! we are all made of kittens and you should, too.
“I managed to convince her that it was the wad of $20s I had from selling books in my front left pocket (I dress left), and she radioed back that the “object had been identified” and let me go, but…
If you love her that much, go for it. It’s only 5 hours
my first thought was, ‘no, it’s 12 hours’ and then i realized that you weren’t talking about [redacted], and then i thought 'what’s 5 hours away’? and then i realized OMG, you’re talking about alex. because i think i answered another question about something thinking you were talking about something else ENTIRELY like not even along those same lines [like, I didn’t realize you were referencing a romantic relationship, I thought you were talking about other kinds of relationships like family or friends or both], but i don’t know why i thought that.
ANYHOW i feel like i’m being super DIRECT on formspring all of a sudden. hello ladies.
formspring. i need to tell you all something. i told you this before but then i got a rash from sharing information about my relationships on formspring and had to take it down ten minutes later.
okay kids. i want you to know that me and alex broke up in september and it was totally mutual and totally not tragic or dramatic or anything. we just didn’t think it was a good idea to try and do it long distance, and i wanted to move to san francisco and she wanted to move to los angeles and that’s what we did and we’re both super happy. i am totally speaking for her now 'cause that’s what i do, i’m the word person. she makes things look nice.
now – i know, because i’ve witnessed some horrific breakups over the past month, that this whole thing, judging by your formspring questions, of which there are many i do not answer, might be confusing. How could they break up without talking shit about each other on facebook or accusing one another of sins against humanity or having some sort of dramatic on-site breakdown? but it’s true. we did! LET US BE AN INSPIRATION TO YOU. we had a 20 minute conversation, agreed on all points, and then i think went out or something. i feel like i was wearing black pants.
We live in different cities now and see different people and we are still friends and talk every day and miss each other and i think she’s one of the best people i’ve ever known and we are still business partners and we are still going to be doing autostraddle together until she decides she cannot have one more fight with me about why i never answer the phone or until autostraddle dies a natural death, at which point she’ll probs finish designing my personal website.
Is that okay, kids? Mom and Dad still love you and no matter what happens with anyone else, they will always still love you and they still care about the family just as much as always. We think we’ve raised a pretty good family here, and it was just the two of us sometimes with you kids, you know? And we did a good job, I think. We’re good at making things together. Okay? Now drink your Ovaltine and go to bed.
How do I get my daughter to eat veggies? The closest thing to “veggies” I can get her to eat is hummus and I don’t think that’s close. What are some green things your sons like to eat? Do I really have to smother everything in cheese? Please say no.
i feel like thoroughly explaining the digestive system to children - and i mean saying it in a way they understand, not that over-the-head bullshit that people sometimes do so kids will walk away confused and silent - is most effective. really just explaining why humans need vegetables and reminding them of the time they hadn’t eaten enough vegetables and had to drink 3 glasses of apple juice and OH MY GOD WHAT A LONG NIGHT THAT WAS etc. it gives them a sense of personal responsibility and ownership of their bodies.
um but recipe-wise, i usually just steam everything and maybe lightly butter / salt it and then decree that no child shall escape until all manner of green or orange vegetables are completely consumed.
also these vegetable tacos are good, but reduce the amount of jalepeno: http://nyti.ms/e8tkXN
AND THIS IS MY PARENTING ADVICE FOR DECEMBER AHTHANKYOUVERYMUCH
My girlfriend passed away three years ago. It was drawn out and messy but you do crazy stuff when you love someone. It’s so cliche but a bit of me went away when she died and no matter what I do I can’t get it back. Am I just pathetic?
no, you’re not pathetic. not at all.
but you won’t get it back. you’ll create something else in its place. you can’t get it back because the part of you that went away was the part that could only exist in a world where the person you loved in that specific way hadn’t left yet.
you’ll make new parts. they’ll go away too. you’ll just keep making new parts. like a starfish.
How many times has your heart been broken? How many times have you put it back together again? I don’t think I can.
once a person broke my heart
once a situation broke my heart, and hers too
i have put it back together 2x.
there’s cracks in it. there’s entire chunks missing, and anyone who dares to scrape their toe against those gulfs will find themselves falling into it quicker than quicksand.
and there’s parts that don’t work like they used to.
but that’s all about behavior, really, not about love. heartbreak won’t destroy your capacity to fall in love again. you’ll just be different, maybe a bit worse for wear but that’s growing up.
there’s that jewel lyric, hearts are broken every day– and that’s not meant to diminish the enormity of our individual specific heartbreaks including most importantly YOURS, dear reader, because i’ve been there and it was, literally, disabling. i get that.
but heartbreak is a part of life, unfortunately hearts are broken every day, and 1 out of every 10 people on the train are hurting too. but you don’t care about those people, it doesn’t make you feel any better at all. because that’s how singularly self-composed and self-involved heartbreak is, that’s why it’s so especially terrible. but 1 out of every 10 people are hurting and all of them will be ok because the other 9 are. we take turns. you will love again.
i’m rusty. we get rusty. but i learned a lot and grew and changed. And eventually even the bitterest root gnawing at the underside of my stupidest muscular organ will wilt and die.
and life can surprise you sometimes. i mean, it will.
My brother and I have the exact same taste in girls, like EXACTLY the same(at least he has good taste), there has never been a point in our lives where we haven’t been crushing on the same girl. How can we work around this?
he can take the straight ones, you can take the gay ones, and for the bisexuals you will have to fight a duel, like jousting or something like that.
i just found out my bi-phobic lesbian friend is fucking some guy. i want to cry and i dont know why. i didnt think i was attracted to her, but maybe i was. am i jealous? why do i feel like this?
because she’s being a hypocrite. but! maybe she knows it. i mean if she is a bi-phobic lesbian fucking a guy, then she’s a hypocrite. but i think she’s allowed to change her mind, and it sounds like she has. so talk to her about it first, and then decide how to feel.
self-hatred is the strongest hatred of all, you know?