h: ‘do what you wanna do. don’t do anything 'cause you expect something in return. just do it. if you like her, do it.’
r; 'if she’s the right person for you then every time you send positive energy to her she will like it. if she gets freaked out if you do something cute, then you probably aren’t meant to be you know?’
you’re probably thinking ‘GOD DAMN I AM A HOT MOTHERFUCKER’ when a human is attracted to you. and i think that’s a positive feeling.
Can you be really physically attracted to someone you’re good friends with, spend lots of time with, but be not interested at all in dating them?
‘YES’
If someone tells you this is how they feel about you, is it true?
we don’t know
Is hopeful sex a terrible idea?
b: 'yes, it’s gonna mean more to you then it does to them and then they’re gonna resent you for that.’
hav: 'people tell you who they are. people just tell you.’
h: ‘there’s no scale and there’s no bad.’
b: 'it needs to be the last straw.’
h: 'what is, IS. like isis.’
b: 'when it’s bad enough that it’s time. you don’t doubt or question it anymore. that’s when you know it’s time. when there’s no doubt in your heart. when it’s time, it’s time’
‘erotic third?’
'THREESOME’
'you need to tell the guy.’
'i think you just have to figure that out as you go along, whatever happens and who you turn out to want. if you want her then just break up with him before you make any moves on her, you know?’
‘just fucking try and deal until she leaves to go back to school again. just get through it and then go away again. it’s just environment. and don’t nurture or cultivate that feeling, if being around the things that you associate with her cultivates those feelings, then you need to not be around those things or you need to give them new meanings.’
'create new associations.’
‘what do you think it means?’
'that means something different to different people.’
'trust her to respect you.’
if you don’t let yourself fall for anyone else then you are never going to move on from her, i can tell you that right now
‘top her’
'tell her to just lie down’
'aw, what a not-fun situation’
'is it like she thinks her thighs are 'fat’ or is it a gender identity thing? not enough information.’
'the most important thing is building up your comfort level in other areas of life. maybe the closer you get, she’ll become willing to open up to you in more ways than one.’
'if you’re not willing to be vulnerable, and give up control, it’s going to be hard. to say – 'i’m comfortable making love to her but i’m not gonna let her do that.“
'probably she should try therapy and talking about her feelings.’
'everybody needs therapy.’
haviland: ‘just ask her. communicate.’
me: just ask her about it when you are looking at each other’s faces with words coming out of your mouth. if she says she’s not comfortable with that, then you’ll have to figure out what to do. if she’s down with it, then i guess do that.’
bcw: 'you’re asking her to participate in a lie you’ve created! and who cares everyone uses online dating. i think it’s silly and a bit selfish to say you don’t want your friends to know how you met her!’
haviland: ‘we’re all connected. everything has meaning. believe that. that’s all.’
i think you should ask her that question
just tell her how you feel it’s easier to just get it out there if you feel something’s unbalanced than it is to passive aggressively deal with those emotions over time.
when i date a girl i gradually let it be known and speak the truth of my life to AS readers.
if i was dating a man then i would consequently also gradually let it be known and speak the truth of my life to AS readers.
if you’re drunk at a club and meet a random girl there that you want to have sex with, then have sex with her.
if you don’t desire that
then don’t do it.
but BABY BABY BABY you are not going to learn one single thing about lesbian sex from a random one-night stand!
what do you want? do you want your first time to be special? do what you need to do for you. don’t have any expectations about the other girls.
it’s not a skill
it’s what bodies do
you’ll get the hang of it
similar to riding a bike
haviland: “the one thing that makes someone a good lover is confidence. all the other stuff is basically chemistry.”
haviland: “take care of yourself. she’s taking care of herself. if you feel like you have things left to say then write her a letter and mail it to her but don’t expect a reply. do it, send it, release it. GOODBYE!”
