I’m terrified of bodies, men’s bodies,women’s bodies, fat bodies, skinny bodies, young bodies, old bodies, my body, yours. I don’t know how I’m going to handle two years worth of communal showers boarding school has thrown at me.
From pretty much birth until the age of 18, I hated my fucking body. HATED it. I kept a whole journal of things I hated about my body. I wore oversized clothing and layers to hide myself. I never had sex with the lights on.
Because my own body made me wish I’d been born a hamster/eskimo, I was similarly repulsed by everybody else’s bodies. I realize now that the repulsion I felt was likely tied into the fact that my TRUE SELF actually thinks all naked women are hot, so looking at them felt somehow wrong. w/r/t men – is a longer story.
Certainly most of my friends when I got to boarding school hated themselves too, because it was an elitist adolescent environment so that was that. But it didn’t make them afraid to be naked. Nobody cared 10% as much as I did. We didn’t have communal showers, but people seemed way ok with running around naked.
I don’t know if I’m allowed to recommend websites that feature nudity? But looking at how actual women look in real life (e.g., http://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php) might prepare you. If anyone else has tips, share them in a reblog?
I’d also recommend becoming a hippie.
Or going to boarding school with communal showers. This is secretly awesome because you’re going to be forced to face these issues head-on at a young age and realize before most girls do that we’re all just humans with our random-ass limbs and bellies and boobs and ears and whatever else. It’s just a fucking body. We have to clean that shit.
In conclusion, everyone else in the shower is either:
1. Unashamed - THIS COMES FROM CONFIDENCE/PERSONALITY, NOT ACTUAL PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. you can learn from these girls. they are your role models. Celebrate their comfort with themselves and let it inspire you to be comfortable with yourself.
2. Also scared – these are your silent allies. They’re just like you. Don’t worry about them.
3. You - you’re a mammal. You’re just a mammal teenager. And the moment you stop caring about whether or not anyone sees you naked the more comfortable you’ll feel in clothing.
The only way to look good naked (and to be able to look at other people naked, too) has nothing to do with what your body looks like. The only way to look good naked is to fucking own it.
Act as if.