im so lonely. im so empty and sad. help me
i wish i could
“This woman found the riskiest, weirdest thing to be, at any particular moment, and then she became it.”
I shaved my legs today and I got sad because I want someone to shave my legs for, you know?
i think your legs look great, like for real. damn, girl, you’re killing me over here.
I am not a poet. I run a website. My writing sounds nothing like hers. But notice how I can refer to “my writing.” Because I write now. I am, in fact, a writer. All I had to do was decide I was going to write something. You don’t have to be a poet to have a poetics, like the lady says, and you don’t have to be a poet to appreciate this idea: The boldness of making your own world. Deciding what your world should look like and then just making it look that way. Taking risks – bullheaded, obvious, deadly or ruinous risks – as often as you have to, to make it happen. All of your friends, the very talented ones who just never get around to painting anything any more, the very smart ones who are going to start writing one day when they have more time, the people who know who they want to be and what they want to do but just haven’t done it yet, the people who’ve never stopped to wonder who they want to be, never realized it was a choice: Make them read Diane Di Prima. Especially if they’re girls.
So why are black, female, fat fashion bloggers, many of whom drive considerable income towards the plus size fashion industry via their blogs, not seeing themselves adequately represented in this new curvy trend? The “fatshion” movement has made it obvious to the maintream fashion establishment that there is a market out there for fashion-forward clothing in larger sizes. Any survey of the fatshion blogosphere will tell you that a great percentage of that market is black. Why are mainstream fashion mags so reluctant to include black plus size models in their spreads, and why do the “high fat fashion” retailers use all white faces as their representatives? It definitely has something to do with the aversion to using black straight size models on runways and in fashion spreads. Unless you’re Alex Wek and the photographer needs the color of the clothes to “pop” against your dark skin. If thin blackness is unwelcome, imagine a double-whammy of fat blackness. Since black women’s bodies tend to have an exaggeratedly feminine shape, it could be the tendency of fashion designers to pick androgynous shapes to model their clothes. Plus size white models don’t usually have a very exaggerated sexualized shape. So this goes back to society’s issues with black women’s bodies in general. Since black women are stereotyped so often as being loose or hypersexual, any emphasis placed on sexualized body parts due to their size compounds the problem. Better to leave that can of worms alone and just work with the non-black models.
What are fun things to do in Boston? I’m going to visit my girlfriend (I study in the UK). I kind of want to double vegan brunch date with you. Is that weird?
double vegan brunch date with me is a fun thing to do in Boston. just saying. email me!
i also like the planet hunt from the museum of science if it’s warm enough to go outside, and i think if you’re a tourist you have to go to the north end and buy some cannoli because god knows that’s what the rest of them do
Trees in their youth look younger
Than almost anything
I mean
In the spring
When they put forth green leaves and try
To look like real trees
Honest to God my heart aches
When I see them trying.
So the heart breaks
Into small shadows
Almost so random
They are meaningless
Like a diamond
Has at the center of it a diamond
Or a rock
Rock.
i cannnn notttttt breath out of my nose, and it doesn’t help my roommate just brought a fucking cat home when she knows IM ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS! >:0
I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THAT
and then they act all offended like you’re INSULTING their cat by not wanting its dander all up on you?
or like you’re an evil animal-killer who detests these innocent felines when really no IT JUST MAKES MY EYES RED AND MY NOSE STUFFY AND MY SOUL HATEFUL
or like you should just take a claritin-d and get over it, like wtf, are they going to pound you on the head with a hammer while suggesting you just take an ibuprofen and deal?
and then you’re like MOTHERFUCKER I WAS BORN THIS WAY
When will you tell your getting hit by a car story?
last friday i got hit by a car. i was on my bike biking along b/c in oakland bikers are everywhere so everybody is super aware of bikers. i was cutting around a ups truck, so a little further into the lane than normal, but obviously this happens like constantly every day, and everyone adjusts accordingly, you know how like traffic works, EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE DOUCHEBAG IN A LITTLE RED CAR who just zoomed on through and hit me. they must have been texting or something because there was no way they couldn’t have seen me there if they’d been looking. so there i was on the ground with my bike all of a sudden.
the car almost slowed down and then as soon as i moved a limb, it sped off. three other cars pulled over and one lady got out to see if i was ok and everything and said she’d tried to get their license number and was like, i can’t believe it, are you ok. when i get hurt i always say that i am totally fine so that is what i said. i had a giant backpack on and i kept thinking about the eggs i got at berkeley bowl which broke.
anyhow it was the worst pain in the whole world at first, in my shoulder/back/left side/everything, like difficult to move and i couldn’t EVEN TYPE. it hurt so bad that i was wailing crying, and rarely does physical pain make me cry. bcw left work early to come make sure i wasn’t dead. luckily it started feeling better pretty fast. i feel in general it was nbd
so now i’ve still got bruises on my hip and elbow THE ELBOW IS GNARLY but am basically fine and i got my bike fixed when the site crashed but now BIKING IS SCARY ‘cause something changes forever the moment the car hits you, because you’re like “oh this happens. this is a thing that is possible. this is possible.” of all the times i have felt this feeling, this was certainly one of the most inconsequential or not-incredibly-dramatic times, but it happened
FYI: When I click the link for Seriously, Who Does A Gay Teen Have To Petition To Get A GSA Around Here from the front page, I’m logged into “Azzy” wordpress account. I tested it and it happened a second time, too.
Tess says: Yeah. Something weird is going on. I’m aware of it and I’m trying to fix it. Thanks for letting me know though!
in the future, you can have the thrill of experiencing this communication yourself by just emailing tess [at] autostraddle [dot] com
tell me about blood oranges. i’m intrigued but apprehensive.
they have a really deep, sexy flavor. in fact, eating them in public feels downright indecent.
Do you have any other interests apart from queer blogs, girls and food?
nope that’s it. just those three things. thanks for asking.