“There are no good guys and bad guys, merely men and women who work on opposites sides of the socially acceptable.” Also, gay people!
Do I need to feel obligated to be the dumping ground for my gf’s childhood-related PTSD/crying/hysteria? I try to be supportive but I mostly want to tell her to go to a mofo-ing therapist already. Which is a problem because she doesn’t believe in therapy.
she “doesn’t believe in therapy”?
that’s lazy and unfair/disrespectful
at some point you have to put a foot down
there’s a reason professionals handle these things, and there’s a reason they get paid to do so
your job is to love and support her but you don’t even know the right things to say, i’m guessing. your job is to love her and support her and be kind and caring towards her, and taking care of yourself is part of caring for one another
if your girlfriend was paralyzed from the waist down but didn’t believe in wheelchairs, would it be fair to ask you to carry her everywhere? no.
she has to take responsibility for her own well-being
maybe she’s afraid of what will happen if she’s given the opportunity to work things out. we’re in love with our sadness sometimes. and that’s fine – it really is – but if a person choses to live with their hysteria rather than dealing with it, then that’s their problem and it’s not fair to make it yours.
leave the heavy stuff to the professionals.
I saw today that the NYT is going to start charging for digital subscriptions. Do you think it’ll work? Will everyone else follow suit soon? Feelings?
Funny you should ask because I just read the article and the subsequent comments and I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT – SO MANY!
http://community.nytimes.com/comments/www.nytimes.com/2011/03/18/business/media/18times.html
I’m appalled by how many people were bitching that it costs too much and they’ll just go to HuffPo or CNN instead – wtf? Especially when you consider HuffPo just rehashes everyone else’s content and doesn’t pay its writers and CNN is probably owned by Jabba the Hut. Is this where we are now? That people honestly think they’re ENTITLED to free newspapers, free magazines, free writing? That writing and journalism and critical thinking and reporting is literally WORTHLESS? Sooner or later, “you get what you pay for.” $15 is probs quite steep, however, they should’ve gone with $10.
The Times does a lot of its own reporting – it sends journalists to the ground while the rest of us sit here and blog about what they find out there.
I’m broke as fuck, but I would pay for this because it’s valuable. So I hope it works out for them. I know with AS that a lot of people “subscribe” (donate monthly to us) and donate to the website, we have the best readers in the world, but also our readers have an emotional attachment to AS that the NYTimes likely doesn’t engender in its readership anymore.
Granted the NY Times is basically The Man at this point, so this is kinda a tangent – but in a more general sense I find people’s increasing refusal to pay for media incredibly troubling w/r/t the future, especially when news/information is at stake. This means that we’re going to only be getting information from like 3 sources all owned by rich fat cats and basically at that point the government can literally tell us what to think and we have no way of knowing otherwise.
When we won’t pay for a thing – newspapers, music, theater – those things don’t go away. Instead anything not owned by a giant corporation (which grows in part by the protections the federal government offers these corporations) is edged out or bought out and then we get diluted, crap mass media.
Also The Times’ digital edition is far more ambitious than anything CNN or HuffPo has:
http://nymag.com/news/features/all-new/53344/
ALSO ONE MORE THING! The people who said “thanks, I’ll just go read npr for free instead” make me want to plow out their eyes with nailguns. NPR COSTS MONEY TO MAKE TOO ASSHOLES! and the republicans just voted to completely de-fund it! I hope those bitches donate to npr during the pledge drive and drink out of their motherfucking npr mugs and kiss their npr tote bags every night before bed and buy back episodes of this american life on audible.
things i have too many feelings about approx every 5 minutes
1. the importance of valuing and paying for the written word
2. the failures of the US Public School system, particularly in poor neighborhoods
3. how we don’t get health insurance here
4. how i want marriage equality
thank you for asking and giving me an opportunity to yell on the internet. what do you think?
i’m generally out, but not to my family. when i speak to them i feel like i should stay lonely forever, bc if i start trying to meet other queers i don’t want to lie to mom etc about what i’m doing. in this situation would you say it’s ok to lie a little?
in this situation i would say that i’ve done this maybe eight hundred times myself. it’s less about whether it’s okay, i think, but more about how it makes you feel. does it feel worse to lie or worse to tell the truth? i just want you to feel good.
Did you like Lip Service?
I think I liked it overall. The characters and storylines weren’t nearly as engaging as The L Word and I did fast forward through a good bit of it. I mostly kept watching because I found Frankie interesting to look at (and wanted to own her wardrobe) and LOVED the hot cop.
“There are no good guys and bad guys, merely men and women who work on opposites sides of the socially acceptable.” Also, gay people!
laneia i got a shot in my foot with a giant needle and now it hurts. a lot. make it stop?
sometimes i wonder if all of my questions come from the same person.
I want to flirt with the cute barista at my coffee shop/ It’s a Starbucks, it’s super crowded, so I usually just pop in before work to get my coffee. Often with my coworkers. Is this futile?
i was once a barista, and i can speak only for myself but let me tell you that on long days i really appreciated some (non-aggressive and non-creepy!) flirting. also, though, tipping won’t hurt.
why is it so difficult to find an internship? i write well and i have great hair, i don’t understand why none of these people want me
my hair is not that great and it was also a hard day for me when i found this out. i felt like it was insane for people to not want me to work for free for them. what i have learned at AS is that training and then managing people, even when they work for free, takes kind of a lot of resources, and that sometimes an intern (in their traditional definition) isn’t going to be able to do enough work to make that worthwhile. or maybe they are, but you can’t tell for sure before spending 3-8 weeks trying to coach them, and also you haven’t gotten any sleep in weeks and your bedsheets smell weird and all you’ve eaten is carrot juice and oreos and you just wanna finish your work (that you’re doing all of because you don’t have an intern to do it) and go to bed. i know it makes no sense. i don’t know.
that said, we do need people who can write well and i am partial to great hair. so if you want to give this one more shot, write me with three story ideas (or your passionate desire to write daily fixes, or both). that goes for all of you weirdos. you could still be america’s next top model.
how am i supposed to be like “so how come we’re still just friends even though we’re really close and we both like girls and bemoan about being single but i could be reading it wrong”?
kinda like that, i’d think. but maybe with more vodka and lip biting?
hey, there was an article about autostraddle doing real estate ventures. I emailed the address given but it didn’t go through. I then checked the webpage to see if I had gotten the address wrong and the article was gone… i was wondering what happened?
yes that’s true, um wordpress lost the most recent draft and i realized slightly too late that it had been published without our most recent and incredibly significant edits on it (since i don’t know the terminology w/real estate and use the wrong words) and then all this other stuff happened so i never fixed it but i will!
but! it’s still on! i just have to re-configure that post. if you email autostraddle [at] forsalefinn [dot] com, it should go through.
I’m the girl who asked about queefing. Seriously, please, I need your help - I queefed on her FACE last night. My face is flushing just thinking about it. There HAS to be a better word than that. Or a graceful way to address it. Any suggestions? PLEASE.
i don’t know much about this that i could tell you without googling stuff but i feel like anyone who’s between your legs is probs pretty happy to be there and don’t really care.
here’s how that can go:
you: “i feel like i – you know – what’s the word? queef?”
her: “yeah queef”
you: “i feel like that happens to me a lot, right? i can’t even say that word it’s so weird, but do you know what i mean? do you think that’s weird?”
her: “what are you talking about”/“no”/“yeah, but so what”
you: “it makes me feel weird!”
her: “don’t feel weird! it’s totally normal and i love having sex with you. who cares?”/“well i have [insert her own private sexual paranoia, everyone has one] and you still like me, right? and want to have sex with me?”
you: “ok”/“of course”
her: “nbd.”
you: “i guess it means you’re fucking me really good though. getting all that air trapped up in there”
her: “mhm.”
[re-commence fucking, and maybe every time it happens, just laugh. you could even laugh and go “SEE!?!” and then she could playfully slap your ass and be like “shut up and let me fuck you” and then you’d be like “OMG”]