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This year I’m going to let myself be publicly angry. I’m a Nice Person — I have one of those irrepressibly pleasant faces that makes people want to sit next to me on public transportation — but I can be nice and angry, I can be smart and angry, and I can be worth listening to and angry. Anger can be fuel without becoming poison.
I’m sure in the beginning checking in that way was useful — I was gathering information about her body, and Sarah was building her trust in me slowly, offering up a little bit more and seeing how we both handled it. But after six months, perhaps we didn’t need to do so much of that. Perhaps I didn’t need to do so much of that. What I’m saying is, Sarah was getting annoyed.
Meditate on this: a Black Trans Woman faces so many obstacles as a consequence for merely existing. She is hunted, not only by the state, but by her own people as well, as some sort of aspiration to an internalized sense of “manhood” by Black cis men. Add to this, the endless hurdles to find work and keep it, or to find other means of working that are not considered valid by society which increases the danger for them in many instances.