Don Lemon. I relate so much to what he said about people auto-linking his childhood sexual abuse to his sexual orientation. This is my #1 fear in coming out to my conservative, uninformed (but i love her like crazy) mom. She’s been beating herself up
about my abuse for 15+ years. And I know she thinks gayness is unnatural and that this is one of the causes. I knew I might cause confusion or sadness or even anger by coming out - the one feeling I’m not okay causing is guilt. How can I explain to her?
—–
oh baby baby baby
i don’t know.
i just don’t know.
so i’m just gonna ramble until i’m though.
research shows that approximately 15%-25% of women and 5%-15% of men were sexually abused when they were children.
meanwhile like 2% of women and 2% of men are homos.
women who have been sexually abused by men
may go on to have complicated issues with men
but that doesn’t make women into lesbians
have you read “two or three things i know for sure” by dorothy allison?
you should read that
also maybe “oranges are not the only fruit”
i mean i know people who have been in your situation
and i think it’s tough.
it’s an uphill battle.
i had a friend who,
although her mom blamed that
she found it simmered down
the tension around it
regardless of whether or not
her mom ever let go of that idea.
it wasn’t discussed.
as her life goes on,
and she lives her truth,
it gets easier
and maybe she gets it now.
at the end of the day that’s just one more thing
they say to scare people about us
to “other” us, to put us in the category
of those who have been ‘damaged’
it’s the same technique that’s been used
against oppressed people
forever and ever.
it’s also a technique that’s used
to convince people sexuality is change-able
which makes a lot of money for people in that business
targeting gays who are especially vulnerable
due to their past –
so maybe that’s where you start
understanding why she believes these un-true things
the larger structures at work
—–
from two or three things i know for sure
People might get confused,“ a woman once told me. She was a therapist and a socialist, but she worried about what people thought. "People might imagine that sexual abuse makes us lesbians.”
“Oh, I doubt it.” I was too angry to be careful. “If it did, there would be so many more.”
