Claire Danes
What things (not people) from/about New York do you miss the most?
the bodega
delivery
the subway
subway (srsly there’s no subway w/in walking distance of my apt, lunchtime is so confusing)
+ http://marielynbernard.blogspot.com/2007/08/dear-new-york-getting-all-city-girl-on.html
My circle of friends in the city I’m in for the summer are all straight. Me and one (male) friend are literally - LITERALLY - the only queer people they know, but they decided they want to go to Pride with us. I don’t know why I feel hurt but I do; it’s m
y first Pride, and they’re not really overly supportive slash are skeptical of my coming out, and it feels like they just want to jump on this bandwagon of a party. Pride IS for everyone; why do I feel hurt and weird? Should I be feeling this? What to do?
—
i feel these feelings frequently, to be honest. which is not flattering, and which i’m not proud of. and i don’t talk about it much because i think it is generally perceived as me being a bitch, or as one person told me, “it’s just because you think of this as being YOUR thing and not theirs.” which is part of it. but i’ve thought about it a lot, the issue of feeling resentful of and infringed upon by well-meaning allies - and i honestly think it comes from a confusion on their part between solidarity and sort of inviting yourself along. solidarity respects boundaries, is aware of them, and acknowledges the space between where they are and where you are while still trying to help. the problem is when people are like “i’m right there with you!” and it makes you bristle and think “well, no, you’re not.” it’s some instinctive anger at them for trying to be part of the community when they haven’t paid the dues that we have.
it’s awesome that my straight friends want to go to pride and gay bars with me, and read AS. but bottom line, they didn’t have minor anxiety attacks every time their freshman year randomly assigned roommate took a shower because they were so ashamed/nervous about being pervy even though they weren’t even attracted to her. waving little flags and drinking too much and singing songs from RENT at karaoke is our payoff for that. it’s a shitty trade, but it’s all that we have. so when your (totally well-meaning! so, so earnest!) friend is all “oh i can be joanne and you can be maureen!” i honestly think it’s a normal reaction to think “OH HELL NO.” they may love us and we love them but that does not mean they are 100% hip to our shit, and if they think they are it’s their issue, not ours.
(PS LOVE YOU STRAIGHT PEOPLE! for real)
How did you develop your impressive work ethic? serious question, please don’t be flip!
really? okay, fine. serious answer. i ‘developed’ my 'work ethic’ by growing up in a family/life/whatever where i started working when i was fourteen and kept straight As in school so i could earn the merit scholarship and afford college, at which point i held two work-study jobs while maintaining a 3.8 GPA so that i could pay at least some of my tuition and the huge loans i had on top of my (not big enough) merit scholarship weren’t completely debilitating, at the same time holding usually at least one unpaid internship because i was so afraid of not being able to find a job later.
and/or i 'developed’ my 'work ethic’ by cultivating moderate but constant feelings of anxiety that were only assuaged by doing thingsthingsthings all the time and banking on the idea that if i did them well enough everything would be ok, regardless of how well that actually worked in theory.
so i guess i would say that necessity was the mother of invention there. or a mild compulsive tendency. or probably both. but not really anything that you’d want to pursue. i’m not saying my life was so hard, it wasn’t, but i’m saying that if your skill set is 'play hard’ rather than 'work hard,’ that might not be a bad thing.
Apparently there is no “original thought” left. Everything has already been done or thought or created. Do you go about life knowing everything has been done or do you go about life trying to come up with a new original thought?
you know that feeling when it’s late at night and you’re tired but not going to sleep and you’re on gchat with your best friend and you’re talking about your therapist or president obama or which harry potter book was the best or whether making iced tea from a mix is ever excusable and they say something and you’re like “huh, i never thought of it that way”
that still exists
She dating me and she’s dating a guy. The guy wants her to “not mess around” with anyone but him. She tells him ok. She tells me this, and then proceeds to make out with me. I really like her. Do I let this continue?
no, it’s not fair
it’s just that you’ll let her keep making out with you
without forcing her to give him up
what if you told her to give HIM up
what then