saturday night we were driving to my apartment in the dark and when i answered a call from my mother, there was a really confused, lethargic bee on my phone (i know wtf) and she pulled over, got out, walked around, SCOOPED IT UP and released it into the wild.
several weeks ago, i was making breakfast for the tax write-offs before school and there was a scorpion A SCORPION on a cutting board in the dish drainer and i tasked her with ‘keeping an eye on it’ while i finished making the food things (scorpions are generally a pretty slow, unimpressed bunch, so i figured i had time) and when it started to make a run for it — and in spite of her reportedly ‘crippling’ fear of scorpions — she grabbed a 7” BUTCHER KNIFE (i know wtf) and the cutting board, walked out the front door (screaming) and into THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD (I KNOW) and urged the damn thing to scurry to safety, which it did.
so what i’m saying is, no one kills it. she captures it and frees it, but apparently no one kills it. (this does not count for roaches, which are first killed and then briefly prayed over.)