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will you return to recapping “glee” next week?

yes

i have been getting a lot of questions about the location of the glee episode 310 recap. i will take this opportunity to answer those inquires — which often take place on the twitter machine — at incredible and unnecessary length.

310 was on 1/17. our website had been broken all weekend, was still broken, wasn’t fixed ‘til this monday. my bike broke on 1/16 which essentially put me on house arrest cuz that’s my transport sitch, so i had to have like a breakdown over that, and i was super sick, and i was editing julie & brandy.

nothing interesting/complicated/original/fresh happened in 310, right? like— it didn’t cover any of the storylines i typically write about, it was hyper-focused on will and emma. finchel = barf. it wasn’t a conversation-starter, there was nothing to comment on. it was boring and i didn’t wanna watch it again to recap it and i doubt you wanted to watch it again either!

also it was so corny that my television set actually turned into a cornfield and then exploded into popcorn and then i died underneath all the popcorn. and then Mister Shoe cheese-glitterbombed the entire universe in a white suit he stole from the Monopoly guy’s gay twin brother and all of you died and frankly i’m surprised any of us are still here.

i felt like bitching about it or trying to use these arbitrary characters and their boring irrelevant uninspiring stories to make you laugh seemed like a foolish exercise and a complete waste of my incredible brainpower. i’m not here to make ryan murphy or ilene chaiken’s bullshit into butterscotch cupcakes. give me something to talk about.

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that being said, during the episode, i take notes which i then divide into “pictures i need grace to make” and i send those notes to her and then the rest i use for my own reference. this is the entirety of what i wrote down during 310 while sneezing & coughing like a tired tired animal:

MY NOTES ON 310

A. Summer Nights
1. boys/girls splitscreen graphics
2. Santana/Rizzo graphic

OH THANK GOD WE’RE GETTING BECKY EXPOSITION

B.
1. Will writes “marry me” on the board and everyone applauds like assholes

um, wow 19 minutes in and no brittana!

this is boring

this show is about the music i guess

finn and will have a stupid conversation where will basically gives finn a blow job with words

i think that really this is like a musical revue, where the point is the songs are the point and the rest of it just exists to provide context for the musical numbers. i mean honestly they’ve been consistently innovative with their songs, i think. even though they fail sometimes, they’re still getting more and more challenging and impressive with every episode. Maybe on set, that takes so much time that it’s easy to forget about those easy talking scenes.

anyhow

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