Everything is going to be fine. You want to know how many careers changes I’ve had? Dozens. I couldn’t tell you the exact number. I’ve worked in music shops, at pet magazines, on tours and on puppet shows. I’ve been a copywriter, an editor, a band manager, a popcorn popper and even a poultry stuffer. I fisted dead turkeys to make a living.Crystal via Autostraddle — You Need Help: Employment Edition
gonzo the great - this is so cute — this girl anna chambers made femmy clothing inspired by the different muppet characters - there’s one for kermit and fozzie too
what is the #1 physical thing you look for in a girl?
i’m gonna cheat and say “smell”
which is better than cheating and saying “marni”
i had all these other things i was gonna say but realized historically, they don’t really stand up. i can’t even say “boyish” because i’ve definitely been into some femmy girls too.
but i’m super obsessive and neurotic about the way things smell
i remember how everyone smelled
anyhow i really like cologne and soap and shampoo and things that smell clean. i think that’s the only thing i’ve been obsessed with from day one, even when i used to like boys. honestly part of when i started not liking boys was that i hated how men smelled in the morning. girls don’t smell like that in the morning.
i like it when girls smell nice.
does that count?
will you return to recapping “glee” next week?
yes
i have been getting a lot of questions about the location of the glee episode 310 recap. i will take this opportunity to answer those inquires — which often take place on the twitter machine — at incredible and unnecessary length.
310 was on 1/17. our website had been broken all weekend, was still broken, wasn’t fixed ‘til this monday. my bike broke on 1/16 which essentially put me on house arrest cuz that’s my transport sitch, so i had to have like a breakdown over that, and i was super sick, and i was editing julie & brandy.
nothing interesting/complicated/original/fresh happened in 310, right? like— it didn’t cover any of the storylines i typically write about, it was hyper-focused on will and emma. finchel = barf. it wasn’t a conversation-starter, there was nothing to comment on. it was boring and i didn’t wanna watch it again to recap it and i doubt you wanted to watch it again either!
also it was so corny that my television set actually turned into a cornfield and then exploded into popcorn and then i died underneath all the popcorn. and then Mister Shoe cheese-glitterbombed the entire universe in a white suit he stole from the Monopoly guy’s gay twin brother and all of you died and frankly i’m surprised any of us are still here.
i felt like bitching about it or trying to use these arbitrary characters and their boring irrelevant uninspiring stories to make you laugh seemed like a foolish exercise and a complete waste of my incredible brainpower. i’m not here to make ryan murphy or ilene chaiken’s bullshit into butterscotch cupcakes. give me something to talk about.
==============
that being said, during the episode, i take notes which i then divide into “pictures i need grace to make” and i send those notes to her and then the rest i use for my own reference. this is the entirety of what i wrote down during 310 while sneezing & coughing like a tired tired animal:
MY NOTES ON 310
A. Summer Nights
1. boys/girls splitscreen graphics
2. Santana/Rizzo graphic
OH THANK GOD WE’RE GETTING BECKY EXPOSITION
B.
1. Will writes “marry me” on the board and everyone applauds like assholes
um, wow 19 minutes in and no brittana!
this is boring
this show is about the music i guess
finn and will have a stupid conversation where will basically gives finn a blow job with words
i think that really this is like a musical revue, where the point is the songs are the point and the rest of it just exists to provide context for the musical numbers. i mean honestly they’ve been consistently innovative with their songs, i think. even though they fail sometimes, they’re still getting more and more challenging and impressive with every episode. Maybe on set, that takes so much time that it’s easy to forget about those easy talking scenes.
anyhow
“The constellations of these stars in the firmament of MacDowall’s beachhouse deck fills me with awe; my mind reels at what possibilities, relationships, conspiracies the various cliques might imply. Lauren Bacall and Rock Hudson! A nude Anthony Perkins (lounged, odalisque) talking to some bald guy, then calling Roddy MacDowall a fucker! Jane Fonda and James Fox! Kibitzing, tanning, eating, swimming, gossiping! (And what kind of high-octane gossip!)”
Come meet some nice people. We’re the awesome queermos. I mean, all queermos are pretty awesome but we’re super awesome. ANYHOO.
SATURDAY THE 28TH OF JANUARY, 2012 THAT’S TOMORROW!!
8PM!!
PLANET OUT IN EDINBURGH!! THAT’S AT 6 BAXTER’S PLACE EH1 3AF!!
PARTNERS AND FRIENDS WELCOME!! THAT’S ALL…
Riese. I sometimes want to cry because this thing that you and everybody else made has made me feel so okay about myself. And I just am so happy that people care enough to make other people feel okay/want to feel okay, and I feel like I know/love you all.
we love you too!
Accent theme by Handsome Code
Autostraddle likes queers, photography, pretty girls and pure poetry. She has many talents, including jumping & tumbling. She also enjoys words, lesbians and girl-on-girl culture. She is best enjoyed with a balanced breakfast at Autostraddle.
Riese is responsible for everything here except the formspring feeds via which Riese & Laneia & Crystal & Alex & Rachel & Jess & Taylor will answer all your questions through internet magic. Who knows what kind of crazy shit they are gonna say really.
our favorite tumblr is fuck yeah autostraddle
